Not So Secret Love
by Inextricable
Summary: Seventh year Hermione is made Head Girl, but what will happen as she tries to deal with a broken heart, trying to save the world from Voldemort, dealing with her Head Boy, along with everything else as she studies for NEWTs? being edited
1. Prologue

**AN: I'm currently trying to edit this story, I wrote it when I was sixteen (so over five years ago) and looking back at it now… it needs some serious editing. So please be patient as I re-write it! If you've already read this story, I would suggest re-reading it as I edit it because I'm likely to severely change it.**

**In this story, the ending of HPB did not happen, no vanishing cabinet, no Death Eaters in the castle and Dumbledore lives.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. And the poem below was written by a friend of mine.**_

**Prologue**

_You not only broke my heart  
You ripped it out and stepped on it  
You trampled it and left it  
Turned your back and walked away  
Never looked over your shoulder  
Or let a single tear fall  
Brushed me off your shoulder  
Like something you only  
Pretended to care about  
You never told me why  
You stopped loving me  
Every time I see you  
I wish I hadn't  
And every time I don't see you  
I wish I had_

I'm Hermione Granger, top of my class; I've read every book in the library at school and at home that I could possibly get my hands on. I'm the type of girl that memorizes everything so that I can have any question a professor throws at me at any moment. The type of student that raises their hand every chance they have in class. The one that all of the other students groan at, because they become proclaimed as the know-it-all. I have only a handful of friends, of which would be Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and (most surprisingly) Luna Lovegood. I have less than average looks, and make no attempts to enhance them. So who would have thought that I could have possibly fallen in love with seemingly the most amazing boy ever who appeared to love me just as much?

I met Jeriko, an eighteen year old guy at the beginning of summer. I was looking through the muggle library near my house for any new arrivals of classic novels that I'd been waiting to read. When I found one I wanted to read, someone else reached for the novel the same moment I did. He was nearly six foot tall, with dirty blond hair and crystalline blue eyes. From that moment forward, we began meeting daily and gradually fell in love with one another.

Summer passed all too quickly and soon I received my Hogwarts letter, bringing me back to reality. I'd been made head girl and classes would begin in a week and a half. Jeriko wasn't a wizard, and therefore I wouldn't be able to see him other than during the Christmas holidays. The moment I informed him that I would be leaving soon for my private school and wouldn't be back for months, he cut all ties with me. He told me that having just left school this summer for good; he wasn't looking for a relationship that would revolve around a school schedule anymore. I haven't spoken to him since.

Waking up this morning I was relieved to know I would be back in the magical world within hours. Despite the much needed break from the ever looming war, the deaths that were occurring daily in the magical world and the stress of having a best friend with a huge target on his head, I was ready to go back. I wanted to dive into my NEWT studies and perform my Head Girl duties to the best of my abilities and try to forget that this summer ever happened.

I grimace as I catch my reflection in the mirror. The shower I'd taken as soon as I woke up did nothing to get rid of the bags under my eyes. My skin seemed paler than it had at the start of the summer, and I'd appeared to have lost a few pounds as well. Running the brush through my hair to get the tangles out I sighed. Despite it still being wet, the moment I'd run the brush through it, curls began forming creating a crazy mess that I couldn't be bothered to deal with this morning. Giving up, I tossed my hair into a sloppy bun and went to put on some muggle clothing that I'd change out of once I got onto the train.

Three hours later, I was saying good-bye to my mum as I lugged my trunk and Crookshanks into the front compartments where the Prefect compartments were. Much to my luck, Terry Boot, a Ravenclaw, was already there and smiled at me, promising to put them both in the Heads compartment.

"Have a good year sweetie, and remember to write often." I hugged her one last time and she pulled a book from her purse. "It's a present for getting Head Girl this year, I know you told us not to but…" she shrugged, and I couldn't help but smile as I accepted the gift, it was a classic book I'd been dying to read but couldn't get my hands on no matter how hard I tried.

So with my new book, I headed onto the train, waving to my mum as other students filed onto the train as well. I quickly headed to the Prefect compartment, which was already completely packed. Much to my dismay, the Head Boy wasn't there, but as the train had already begun to move, I decided I couldn't wait any longer. I handed out everyone a schedule of when and where to patrol the train for the night and left them to their own devices.

Having given myself and the Head Boy the last patrol, I settled myself into our compartment and opened up my book, planning to have a nice peaceful trip. Unfortunately a half an hour later the compartment door slid open to reveal Draco Malfoy, with a very smug look plastered on his face. "Now why am I not surprised to see you here Granger?" he sneered as he sauntered in, sitting delicately across from me.

It took a moment for me to gather my thoughts. Why in the world would Dumbledore ever appoint Draco Malfoy of all people to be Head Boy? Was he trying to get me to go insane this year? I remained quiet and tried to focus on my book again, but it was a pointless battle. "You're not giving me the cold shoulder, are you Granger? I thought the point of being Head Boy and Girl was to form house unity and work together." The sarcasm in his voice made my jaw clench. I look up to see crystal blue eyes staring at me, and for a second I'm speechless. The colour is so familiar, yet something about his eyes is completely different from Jeriko's. I shake my head slightly.

"No Malfoy, I'm not. I just figure that my book here would be a better use of my time then trying to talk to someone as thick as you."

He smirks. Merlin do I hate that smirk. "Well Granger, I think somewhere deep inside you really want to talk to me. And when you finally realize that you do, I'll be sitting here reading my book." I wanted to roll my eyes at him, not knowing what could possibly ever want to make me converse civilly with the guy who constantly throws insults at me.

After a while of awkward silence as the both of us went back to our books, the door slid open again. Standing in the doorway is someone I certainly could handle talking to right now. Luna glances around the compartment and freezes as her eyes land on Malfoy. The Head Boy stares back at her, confused and taken aback. Curious to their reactions I break the silence, "Hello Luna, how was your summer?" I ask cheerfully, putting a bookmark into my book and setting it to the side.

Her eyes snapped back to Hermione and she seemed to thaw back into her normal self. "Just fine, I was able to catch a few nargles actually! My dad also got married this summer. To Ma…."

Malfoy jumps up, cutting her off abruptly, "Well as nice as it's been having a visitor, Granger and I have Head business to attend to. I very much doubt that the Prefects are holding to the schedule and we need to make sure the students are all behaving." Luna nods sadly and says she'll see me later hopefully.

I watch as he runs a hand through his platinum blond hair and can't help but notice that his eyes have turned a more grayish colour. I furrow my brow, wondering what that could have possibly been about.

I stand and head for the compartment door, planning on going through with his fake Head duties so that I can find Luna and ask what's going on. But as I reach the door way, a strong hand pulls me back, "Where do you think you're going?" he hisses at me.

"Well, as you so kindly pointed out, our Prefects might not be performing up to par. I just want to do a quick sweep to make sure everything is under control." I lie smoothly.

"Hmm… I'll go with you then. We're meant to be a team now, aren't we?" despite his attempt to sound casual, I could still hear the underlying sarcasm of his words.

With a sigh I concede, "Yes I suppose so."

I keep out an eye for Luna's flowing blond hair as we walk down the train, pretending that I don't notice her as we pass her compartment, keeping note of where she is. On the way back, four compartments away from where Luna is sitting, I mention seeing Pansy making out with Blaise. To my luck, Malfoy growls and heads off to the compartment I pointed out. Rushing to get to Luna's compartment, I close the blind and sit down.

"Hello again Luna, I was just wondering, who did your dad marry?" I spit out, a bit breathless. I needed to find out what was going on before he found out that I sent him on a wild goose chase.

Her dark blue eyes met my own and she smiled sadly, closing her Quibbler magazine. "He married Draco's mother."

All I can do is blink repeatedly at her. How could this have possibly happened? I knew one thing for certain; this year was going to be absolutely insane. The new Head Boy was the one male in the school that I couldn't stand, and was also now the step-brother to one of my best friends. Things couldn't get any more complicated… could they?


	2. Shocking Events

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 1: Shocking Events**

I was still numb from shock. My best friend is now related to the most dreamy guy in the school, and the Head Boy.

"I hate it there, the Malfoy Mansion I mean. Its so horrible. They treat me like dirt 'Moine. I hate them." she looked like she was about to cry so I hug her. Poor Luna, it doesn't shock me that they treat her like dirt. I'm shocked Malfoy's mom would even consider marrying Luna's dad. As if she could read my mind she continued. "My dad was...forced. Mr Malfoy was killed and th-they th-thought my d-d-dad would be per...fect for her." Tears fell from her eyes and she hunched over trying to stop.

"Luna, thats so horrible. But can't the Order or someone help him?" I ask her sincerly concerned. Her father is a great man, even if he's not exactly the most straight-minded man in the world. But hey, what would the world be without a few more free-spirited people who aren't afraid to believe in things that people laugh at?

Luna somehow pulls herself together to answer me. "I've already had contact with Dumbledore, he said that they would make sure we were safe. But they can't take him from her. Death Eaters could come and kill us, or even worse..." her voice was so stern almost like she was mad at Dumbledore, even though we both knew that he had the best intentions.

I hugged her once more before leaving her compartment. I knew Malfoy would be freaking out by now, and heaven forbid a Malfoy being in distress. As soon as I stepped up he saw me and glared. "So, my best mates were trash talking me, even though they know damn well what would happen to them eh?" Never have I seen someone look down on me as much as he was at this very moment.

"I..uhm..."

"Yeah thats right, my best mates were in there. Next time think before you point." He then led me back to our compartment where we found instructions for tonights events. We were told to be off first and help point everyone to where they needed to be then we were to be the lasts on a carriage.

The next few hours passed by dreadfully slow. Everytime I would look up from my book Malfoy would be staring at me. Sometimes I wonder about him.

When it finally came time to get off, no one could explain how happy I was to just be out of the compartment and seeing the faces of the young first years who could only stare in amazement when seeing Hogwarts up close. A few mummered about how it was even better than their siblings had said. Truth be told, Hogwarts doesn't seem as great anymore, not compared to the moment I first saw it.

After the long ride up to the castle I quickly found my way to the Gryffindor table anxious to see my friends. We always had great times together, even though there were times that we sorta drifted we all knew we couldn't be apart forever. As soon as I sat down Ginny started asking me who Head Boy was. Apparently Harry thought it would be Draco and Ron thought it would be Blaise. "You'll see soon enough you three" I said while giggling.

The sorting cermony was fun and dull all at once, fun to see the new faces and what they think about what house they're in, dull because it happens every year and takes so long. After it was over we all ate to our hearts content or at least until Dumbledore vanished the food so he could talk.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts, the rules are the same-No going into the forest, and no going into the 3rd floor corridor, for any further rules please contact Mr Filch. Our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is Professor Kay." She gracefully waved her hand. From what I could see she looked older and plump. She wore her hair into a tight bun that could probably hold a needle, her face was long and her eyes almost popped out of her head. "Now, our new Heads this year are Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy please give them a round of applause." Slytherins and Gryffindors clapped and cheered loudly for their Heads. Dumbledore quickly hushed the hall. "Good night all, and get pleanty of sleep for your first day of classes tomorrow!" The Hall quickly filled with happy conversations and story telling once again as everyone tried to squeeze out.

I quickly went to the Heads room, after helping three first years get directions to their common rooms. I said the password Humbleberries and went in to see no other than Malfoy sitting on the couch. "Wow, I didn't expect you to be in here yet..." I said almost sadly thinking I would have the room to myself for awhile.

"Well my fellow Slytherins think that I should get a head start on 'bonding' with you since we have to spend the entire year together in here with the same bathroom and common room. So what do you say, ready to 'bond'?" he smirked at me almost as if he wanted a harsh come back. Hmm, maybe its time to play with his head a little.

"Sure, its not like I have any studying to do tonight anyways." I go over and sit next to him. "So Malfoy, what would you like to talk about?"

I wish I had a camera at that moment, because let me tell you I never have seen a Malfoy make such a face. I thought he was going to drool from his jaw hanging so low. He quickly realized how stupid he looked and regained his posture. "I, uhm, well...How was your summer? Or uhhh...How do you know Luna?" he sounded almost panicked.

Try to surpress a giggle I answer him honestly. "My summer was great and horrible all at once, and I know Luna because her and I are best friends. That wouldn't be a problem for you oh great Malfoy would it?" finishing my answer in a sarcastic tone only a deaf person wouldn't catch.

He looked almost worried. "Uhm, no its not a problem Granger, but if you could so kindly refrain yourself from using that sarcasim with me. Nothing bothers me more than that." he was trying so hard to be so serious about this. It was difficult to not just burst out laughing but I figured that it wouldn't make this year a joyful one if I started it out with laughing at him.

So we sat there in silence for a few moments, I could almost feel his eyes peircing through my skin as I watched the fire crackle. _Honestly why would he look at me? I'm just a stupid ugly mudblood. Seriously, its like lately guys are out to make me think one thing about them and then break my heart or something. But I won't let Malfoy have me. No not ever. Wait what am I saying? He doesn't want me anyway!_

"Well I think I better go to bed now...long day tomorrow, and we're not talking too much sooo I'll cya Malfoy" I get up and start to walk off.

"Good night Hermione Granger" I didn't even have to turn around I could sense his smirk as I continue walking to my room.

I open the door to see the most breath taking room. It was decorated with my two favorite colors silver and blue. I know not my house colors, but who cares? They look amazing together. I lay on my bed which almost engulfed me like a huge pile of feathers. The time I fell asleep is unknown to me, I just fell asleep as soon as I was relaxed. With what was going to happen the next day I almost wished I had stayed in bed the next morning...

**AN: Sorry this took so long to get up! Its been a busy week. Dont expect an update this weekend either. My english class, another english class and the spanish 2 class at my school are going to Chicago for the weekend. But I wanted to finish this chapter tonight otherwise it would never get written. **

**2 more sorrys, if theres spelling errors its because I have wordpad and using anything else to spell check it takes forever on this computer, and also that its so short and going almost no where. It will start speeding up really soon I promise :) And after Chicago I should have more time to write sooo yep.**

**I hope your enjoying the story so far! But please read and review! I need to know what you think of the story so I can improve it.**


	3. To Love or Hate

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 2: To Love or Hate**

"What the hell are you doing here?" I have never seen him this angry. Its not like were doing anything against the law. He just needs to calm down.

"I...I...I needed someone to talk to...and she's the only one I can trust..." Luna just sits there shaking, staring at the floor like a little puppy who just got into something they shouldn't have. Why does she take this from him?

"Get the hell out of here Luna, you don't belong in here, you belong in your room. GO!" He points to the door and her being the good person she is just stands up and leaves.

**Flashback**

_I woke up to see Luna sitting on the corner of my bed crying her eyes out. I knew I gave her my password but I didn't think she would be using it so soon. I sit up. "Luna, what's wrong?" She sits straight up startled from my sudden waking._

_"I...uhm...I'm sorry I came in. It's just, I'm scared to be where they know I am. Besides, I need to talk to you. We never really got to talk on the train. This summer...I was at home sitting there reading the Quibbler when the door flew open and 4 Death Eaters came in and took my father and I. The Quibbler is no longer being made if you were wondering. Fathers under too many curses to be able to make it anymore. But anyways, we were taken to this place. I still have no idea where it was because we were blindfolded. I just remember the terrible smell and hearing this man whose voice was so powerful it sent shivers down my spine. He told us we were to remain in the Malfoy Mansion and when school came I was to go and to act normal. After school is over I'm to become a Death Eater...Me! A Death Eater! Of all people I mean honestly, I could see them, wanting you. You're amazing 'Mione, but me...I'm a horrible witch." she looked down at her feet in dissapointment. "I just don't undetrstand why they want us. Why not the Weasleys? Why not you? Why not anyone else? Why me?" All I could do was hug her. No words in the world could comfort her right now. Which isn't suprising. I mean how would you feel if you were being forced to join the people you hated with such a passion?_

_We sat in my room talking for probably hours which was fine because classes had been cancelled due to teachers eating something that Peeves made. And well, do I really need to explain? We jsut sat there talking and she would occasionally break down. But finally I had gotten her to calm down when my door smacked open to show a clearly pissed Malfoy._

**End Flashback**

I want to punch him, I want to jinx him, I want to kick him in the family jewels. I want to do something and yet I stand there and just glare at him. Maybe, just maybe my glare will be strong enough to scare him. But go figure, all he can do is laugh. "Honestly Granger, you're not that scary. Or rather your glare isn't. By the way, I never want to find my sister in here again. She doesn't belong in here. She belongs in her dorm room like every other student. Besides this is the head girls room, not the head girl and friends room. Also, today were supposed to stay in here all day. Don't ask me why it was just Dumbledore's orders. I'll be out in the common room if you need me" He threw a peice of paper on my bed before leaving my room swiftly.

I open the peice of paper. Of course it was Dumbledore's note. All it said was 'Dear Head Boy and Girl, Today since you have no classes you shall stay in your Head's Rooms, food will be sent up. I will be up later tonight to disscuss why you have been locked up all day. Have a good day both of you. -Albus Dumbledore' I sigh as I crumple up the paper and throw it on the floor.

Today just can't get any worse can it? Wait...maybe I shouldn't say that. After all I do have a whole day of nothing but Malfoy. It's going to be like having Care of Magical Creatures all day. You have to watch your every move or it may just be the end of your life.

I walk out of my room to see Malfoy reading once again. It seems so weird to see a Slytherin that can read more than the word "The" to be quite honest. I sit down on the chair furthest from him. "We have about 9 hours until Dumbledore comes here, or so I assume. I don't really think he would come up here anytime before 9." his voice was so monotone you would think he's a robot.

"Whoa wait, its noon already? I've missed breakfast I have to go down and eat lunch!" I had completely forgotten about the elves giving us food until one popped out of thin air.

"Lunch for Miss Hermione Granger! I hope you like it!" Doby looked up at me with his huge eyes that were filled with happy tears and socks covering almost every inch of his body.

"Thank you so much Doby! It looks wonderful." I hand him a hat that I had knitted over the summer and left on the couch last night. He smiled at me before taking his leave. I go to sit back down and eat when Malfoy decides to be completely random.

"I know you like me Granger. Don't hide it anymore." Ok so maybe I do sorta like him. But honestly it's not to the point that I want to like jump on him or anything. So I just simply snort.

"You really are full of yourself Malfoy. The day that I say I like you is the day that you admit your madly in love with me." I was expecting silence, or a smirk, or a snigger anything but what happened next.

"Alright, I am madly in love with you Hermione." I don't know what scared me more. The fact that he called me Hermione when he said it, or the fact that there was only truth in his voice. I looked him straight in the eyes just to find that they only had truth in them as well. He loves me? Not possible. I'm a mudblood. I'm worthless. This summer has shown me that. I'm only good for being with physically, not for being together with.

"Whatever Malfoy..." I run to my room before my watery eyes become pools of tears. I could never be with him. Even if we both wanted. We are on two sides of a war. Not only that but Luna...I can't do that to her. But he's so...Malfoy...Even if he has spent his years taunting me, he's at least always paid attention to me and noticed me. He's the only one...but I can't do this. It's not right. I hear a knock. "Go away...just go..." I plant my head into my hands as I sit in the middle of the floor. My door opens.

Malfoy walks over and sits next to me and just holds me. It feels like a dream and I don't ever want it to end. I feel protected, like nothing can hurt me. I've only felt this way one other time. This summer. we would sit on the grass and he would hold me while we watched the stars. "Hermione...I do mean what I said...well...its not madly in love. But I do like you alot. Thats why I don't want you and Luna to be close. I'm not like them. I don't want her to be my sister I want her to be free. She doesn't deserve this." he pats my arm before he stands up and leaves. All I can do is sit there in shock. Did this really just happen?

**A/N: Alright, so I sorta rushed into their relationship which wasn't what I wanted to do. But the rest should be extended. In the next chapter Dumbledore comes to visit and Hermione shares some interesting information which shocks a certain someone.**

**Also, Im not posting the next chapter until I have 4 reviews. I didn't want to sink to that level, but I really need to know what you the readers think of the story :)**


	4. Secrets Are Horrible

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 3: Secrets Are Horrible**

Why? Why does it have to be like this? Why couldn't I just be stuck in here with some guy who just minds his own business and doesn't bother looking at me? Why am I stuck with the one guy I like, and that must insist on liking me. It's so messed up. And Luna, Luna, Luna, Luna. What do I do about that go up and say 'Oh hey! I just wanted to tell you I like your step brother and want to date him k? Kay' No that sounds ridiculous. What am I saying? This whole situation is. I need to clear my head...but I can't leave.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door causing Hermione to jump "Hermione dear, it's Dumbledore. Could you so kindly come out and join Mr. Malfoy and me?"

"Uh, uhm yes sir I'll be out in a moment!" I look in the mirror. Is it possible for me to look worse than usual? If so, this is that point. I look dreadful. I almost wish I could take a shower but I know I can't keep them waiting so once again I lazily throw my hair in a bun. No difference really. It's hopeless anymore. I really don't know why I even bother but oh well. I straighten my clothes out so that I don't look like I've been lying down all day and leave the room.

The first thing I see is Draco, I just look down at my feet until I'm sitting. "So sir, what is it that you need?" I ask trying to avoid any possible awkward silences.

"Well you see, you two are quite the opposite. I don't just mean your blood either. Hermione is simply dedicated to her work and being there for her friends. She's not afraid of having her pride ruined." oh only if he knew..."Draco here on the other hand, does his work well but his main focus is succeeding and having as much honor in the end as possible" Draco just smirks. "This is the main reason we put you two together. We know you butt heads quite frequently but if you two work together you would make an unbeatable team. Both of you know this, so please don't act foolish about it." he gives us this half smile knowing that usually both of us would detest it. But right now we want to be together. Of course he doesn't know that nor will he ever. Or so I hope. "I'm hoping this year turns out fine. Also, you two will be working on a project soon. The Halloween Ball. Your job is to get as many students interested as possible, and to decorate the entire Hall on your own. You both have to completely agree on everything, and trust me I shall know when you don't. Now I leave you with the rest of the day, but please stay in your commons until dinner. Then you are free to roam the castle as you please. Good day" He nods his head slightly almost like bowing before he takes his leave.

I stare at the floor trying to gather my thoughts when Draco clears his throat. "Well…we can spend the next few hours pretending nothing happened and then go to dinner acting as if we still hate each other, or we can talk this out." He said plainly.

Everything just flows through my head, this summer, the break up, the crying for so long, just everything. I want to take this summer back. Just to have never met Jeriko. Everything in my life was just fine till he came along. I'm the Head girl in my class; I have the greatest friends, and teachers looking up to me. Now what do I have?? Another guy out there to break my heart. Why do I always get stuck in the worst spots? It's not fair, I deserve better than this. I don't study constantly for nothing. I'm tired of thinking, especially with him looking at me. I can feel his gaze on me.

The tears well up in my eyes and I feel like I could just explode at any second. I really don't want to deal with Draco at this point, so for his answer I just simply stand up and leave. I can't talk to him while in this state, I know I would just cry and cry and then he could take advantage of my second, just like any Malfoy would. As soon as I close my door I hear a knock. Fearing my voice would crack I just stay silent.

"Look, Hermione…I know I came on too fast. I will back off if it's what you want. But I'm always gonna be here and I don't intend on leaving anytime soon. Its not allowed for Malfoy's to back down from a challenge." I hear his footsteps and then his door slamming shut. I finally feel like I can let myself go.

I collapse on my bed, salty water dripping from my inflaming eyes. I can't stop. I don't think I really want to either. So I just let them flow as I slowly fall into a dreamless sleep.

♥

I wake up to a pounding on the door "Hurry up Granger, you wouldn't want to be late for Charms now would you?" he says in that oh so taunting Malfoy voice. I sit up and realize that my pillow is absolutely drenched in tears. Suddenly the happenings of yesterday flush back to my mind but I quickly shake them off knowing I don't have the time to cry again, nor do I have nearly enough energy. You really wouldn't think that it would take so much life out of a person to just sit there and cry and cry. You would think that it would be painless and easy to do and that you could just quickly get back up and run a mile. But even after having a whole night to sleep it off I still feel completely useless and lifeless like a rag doll being dragged across the floor as I go to pick out a uniform.

Once again I am faced with the problem of my looks. I have these enormous bags under my eyes that can probably be seen nearly a mile away. I sigh as I attempt to put on a little cover up and put my hair up in its normal position, the bun. It's the only thing that will make me look even half decent anymore. I look in the mirror again to see that my eyes are still a little bit red from crying, deciding it would be easier to just use eyeliner to cover it than explain the night to Ron and Harry I put on a thick layer of black eyeliner that I had picked up before going to the train station. Somehow that day I knew that I would need it.

Feeling as though my appearance was just as good as it would ever get, I pick up my school bag shove a few books in it and head out of my room. My heart stops as soon as I look forward. Why the hell is he still here? I can't bear to look at him for more than an instant so I quickly stare down at my feet. I slowly look up but I look straight at the door and walk briskly past him, acting as if he didn't exist.

As soon as the portrait closes again I start to tremble. Why does this have to be like this? Why did I have to get hurt? Why can't I open up again? The fact that these questions keep hitting me in the face wears me down and makes me weaker. I need to get over this. I need to go back to being Hermione Granger, the book worm and top girl. This isn't me and I don't like it at all.

I collect myself and walk hurriedly towards the Charms room as I hear our portrait open again. I refuse to look at him right now. For now my focus is school. I turn about 3 corners before I realize I was walking carelessly and had no idea where I was going. I turn around to go back and literally bump into someone I really didn't care to see at this point in time. "Well, well, it seems our Head Girl is lost"

**AN: Ok, so I didn't wait for 4 reviews. But honestly I want this story to move on so I can finish it. I had too many ideas come to me. Most when I was in the hospital. Yeah that wasn't too fun but anyway…I really hope you guys like this chapter. I think this is probably my favorite one at the moment. The next one will be better though, and most likely longer.**

**But I seriously want to know how you guys feel about this story! So please, please R&R **

**♥Tabby**


	5. Not So Happy Greeting

**Disclaimer: Nothing is owned by me.**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 4: Not So Happy Greetings**

Can today honestly get any worse? First the whole Draco thing and now Pansy catches me getting lost. Play it cool Hermione. "Lost? I'm not lost Parkinson. I needed to get away from everyone before going to class is all." I say in probably a very unconvincing tone, but it's the most I can muster for the moment.

"Whatever Granger. You just keep telling yourself that. In the meantime, think about the fact that you are now two minutes late to Charms. You better hurry unless you're going to be like me and skip. But who am I kidding? A stuck up mudblood like you could never skip a class." She snorts as she finishes.

It's so tempting to go with her and skip. When I realize this I want to hit myself I want to ram my head into a brick wall something, anything to cause myself harm so maybe I'll stop thinking in such ways. I'm Hermione Granger for Gods sake! I'm the ideal student and daughter. Who is this girl that wants to suddenly skip class? Why does she love the boy she should hate? Wait…I don't love him. I can't. I've loved once, and that was too much.

"I would skip class, but I'd rather not spend my precious time with a snobby Slytherin whom can't get past the fact that she thinks she's oh so beautiful. Well reality check Pansy," I spit out with all the anger I have built up. "Every guy that's ever screwed you only wanted you because you were so willing, not because you're beautiful. And in my opinion, you're not very pretty at all. You're just a slut." I'm so mad at her, at myself, at Draco, at everything that I just don't care what I say anymore. That's probably how I really feel about her, but I would never say it aloud. But at this moment I don't care that I did.

I stomp off going to unknown places once again. I don't want to be with her, I don't want to be in class either, and I can't go to the dorm room he can find me there too easily. So I continue on my unknown path to nothingness. I feel like I'm a new person. I probably am. I haven't really been the same since this summer. My parents even noticed and told me to try to cheer up when I got to school. I'm personally glad they can't see me right now. They'd probably want me to go see a counselor. Which I probably should, but I'll never admit that to anyone. There's no point in it. Even if I did go to see one, I would never be able to make it through my whole story without breaking down and bawling in front of them.

I finally reach a dead end. I think I'm on the forth floor now, at least the tile on the ground is the same as the fourth floors. Deciding I should probably at least read what they're learning in Charms today I sit on the ground Indian style , open my book and read and read and read for what seems like hours before the dong signaling lunch. I wearily stand up stretching widely before walking back towards the Heads dorm.

"Phlemball" I say while sighing. I step in and see no other than Draco waiting for me. I roll my eyes just imagining what he will say knowing that I skipped two classes.

"So, our perfect Head Girl can skip TWO classes, not to mention the first classes of the year, without telling the Head Boy whom clearly should have skipped with her?" he said while trying to hold back a laugh. How can he find this funny?

"I didn't feel well, so I decided it would be better to go somewhere that I could uh get better." I said trying to sound as convincing as possible. I start walking back to my room not wanting to seem like I wanted a conversation. To be quite honest I didn't want to open my mouth at all, knowing him he could probably tell that too.

"Well then dear Head Girl you should go to the Hospital Wing, not skip out on classes in some place no one can find you." I ignore him and continue to my room, my hands on the doorknob when he continues. "You know it's funny; I practically called Pansy a liar today. She said that you spazzed out on her and called her a slut. Very unlike you Granger…and seeing you now and with your lying, and skipping, I think I believe her. But what I can't understand is why a, oh how did she say it…'Stuck up, good for nothing, smart ass, mudblood' like you be like this?" I turn slowly, he looks sincerely concerned. But how do I explain it to him? 'Oh it's nothing I just love you and its making me insane!' nope, it sounds stupid. I just keep my mouth shut as I think. Staring at the fireplace I decide I might as well tell him the truth.

"Hmm what is wrong with me…let's see. I don't like who I am and what I do and how I feel. And I can't take it anymore. The only way I can feel mildly ok is if I'm away from everyone. Especially after I burst, whether it be in someone's face, like Pansy, or crying. There you go Draco. Now you know the secret to me." I sighed as I finished and went back to the doorknob but as soon as I turned it he called out again.

"Hermione wait…" he starts walking toward me as I start to tremble once again. I really don't feel talking right now especially about what he wants to talk about. I just don't have the energy or the will. Pushing my door open slowly I feel his hand on my shoulder. "Hermione please. Tell me what's really wrong."

My legs get weak and I feel like I'm going to fall over at any second. He senses this and picks me up and takes me to my bed. Setting me down gently he sits next to me. I begin to weep. I can't control it anymore. His eyes burn into my back as I lean over with my head in my hands as I cry more than I have so far. All he does is sit there and watch me cry. He doesn't touch me or give me comforting words. For this I am grateful. His touch or sound would just make it worse.

Deciding something needed to be done; I take a deep breath and collect myself. He hands me a tissue and simply waits for me to talk. It amazes me how much better him just standing there is making me. There's absolutely no pressure on me to talk, and I don't have to calm down just to make him feel better. Everything is just the way it should be. But what I have to say might make everything all weird again. Never the less it needs to be told and if anyone should hear this full story it might as well be him.

I get myself into a more comfortable position and look at him. "Do you really, truly want to know the full story? Every detail?" he looks at me weirdly.

"If there's any sex, leave it out. I'd much rather not hear about you screwing some other guy thanks." He says in a serious tone.

I really don't know if I can do this. What happens if he thinks I'm just a silly girl who only fell in "puppy" love and don't know and can't ever comprehend the true meaning of love? What if he thinks is completely bull crap and gets mad? What if I mess up the story? What if I can't finish it? I sit there and stare at my wall just past his left shoulder. Maybe if I tell him though, I'll get better. Maybe everything will become easier. Although it could just get worse. He could mock me for ever falling for a muggle and in a library of all things. And then falling for him? Going from muggle to pure blood wizard. I'm sure there is some unwritten rule about never doing such a thing. But I don't really care about unwritten rules anymore. I want this to be over with. I want to stop crying. I want to lie next to him and feel his arms wrapped around me and his breath blowing gently on me as I wake up. That's what I really want. But in order to ever even possibly have that chance I need to get past this one last hurdle.

Telling the truth. Letting the summer come to life to someone other than me here. Weird you would think that I would want to share this info with Luna before anyone else. I really should to be honest. I should be sitting in my room with her right now. And a load of tissues and chocolate to feel better. But I'm not. Instead I'm about to spill everything to her step brother. The Slytherin Prince. The guy all the Slytherin girls pine for year after year. I really have no shot in hell with him. Yet I'm going to tell him my deepest secrets. Note to self: have mind examined later. I almost laugh at this but he looks me straight in the eye forcing me to look at him.

"Well it all started this summer at the library…"

**AN: Ok so I know I JUST posted chapter 3. But I couldn't, not write more. I'm in a huge writing mood and everything sorta flowed just right. I know that this chapter is really depressing. But I promise they will start to get better in time. To anyone who has been through this sort of thing knows how many questions flow through your mind and should be able to relate easily. I hope you liked it! And if it makes no sense, blame lack of sleep  And remember to review, it makes me really happy!**

♥**Tabby**


	6. So Much Better

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 5: So Much Better **

Either I'm hallucinating or Draco really looks sad right now. It's tempting to give him a tissue too. Although he would never take it. There is already a huge mountain of used tissues that were used while I was telling the story. I look deep into Draco's eyes hoping to find an answer since he obviously is in such shock he can't speak.

**Flashback**

_I took a deep breath as I began the story. "So this one day in July, the third I think it was…I was in the library close to my town just reading books. Muggle books, since obviously it would be rather difficult to explain moving pictures in a book to a muggle and all. Well anyway, this guy Jeriko came up to me and just started talking to me. He was simply amazing. I've never met anyone as perfect looking and with such a great personality. So anyway we talked for hours and hours, until the library closed which wasn't until about midnight. Then he walked me home and made me promise to meet him in the library again the next day. So I did so and that day he…he…" I start to break down remembering the perfect lighting of the room, his scent that was simply indescribable and the way the words flowed out of his mouth so smoothly. "He told me that I was the most beautiful and smartest girl he had ever met, and that his life would be incomplete without me. The he asked me to be his."_

_I look at Draco hoping for a reaction, he just stares at me as if telling me with his eyes to keep going. I sigh as I continue "The next few weeks were amazing, we spent every waking moment together, and he treated me so well. My parents absolutely loved him. They even hoped we would marry because we would have such beautiful children." I start sobbing, I can't help it. The look in my parents' eyes when they met him was so joyful, they had such high hopes. And I ruined them._

"_He was even understanding. I did kiss him and hug him and hold hands, but one night, our one month anniversary he wanted to have sex. And I told him that I couldn't and that I wanted to save myself until marriage. He completely understood and we went on with the night just as happy as before." Its becoming harder and harder to talk about it and I feel a huge breakdown coming. Thankfully, Draco saves me some time and buts in._

"_You know, he really does sound like an amazing guy, but why aren't you guys still together if he was that understanding of everything?" he hands me a few tissues._

"_Well…three days before I left to come here I told him I was going to school soon and wouldn't be back till summer except for Christmas. He blew up and told me that if we couldn't be together in London walking the streets, then we couldn't be together at all. Then he took off the watch I had bought him two weeks earlier and threw it in the dirt and stepped on it…after he left I picked it up and took it home. I never saw him after that. Ever since then I've had to make sure I had the watch with me." I bend over and cry like some crazed person that should be in a mental ward. Now my story has been told to the full. No one knew about the sex thing, no one knew why we really broke up. I told mum and dad that we just thought it would be better to stay friends while I am in school. They never knew I cried my eyes out after that. The disappointment in their eyes simply killed me though. Their only hope of their daughter marrying someone handsome and truly loving was gone. And they just had to live with it._

"_But then…I got to school and saw you. You started to have the effect Jeriko had on me. And to be honest, it confuses me. And I don't know if I should feel this way…But that's everything that's wrong with me…So now you can throw your lines at me and go…Unless you have something to actually say?"_

**End Flashback**

"I…I…I don't know what to say. Other than the fact that he is a complete jerk for doing that to you. It's not like your never going to go back to him. And honestly, you guys could've still owled each other daily. You talk about him like he's the smartest guy on Earth; well really he is the stupidest. He was dumb for letting someone as amazing as you just go. He could've had the brightest girl known to Hogwarts, he could've had amazing children with you, but he decided to be a moron and let you go just because he couldn't see you for a few months. That is the largest amount of stupidity I've ever seen one person prove at once." He looks deep into my eyes with one of the most serious gazes ever. His words make me feel slightly better, but it will never be enough to fill the rather large hole in my heart that refuses to be filled in.

He starts up again, "As for you feeling the same about me, it doesn't shock me. He sounds rather much like a Malfoy. Although I would never be idiotic enough to let you go if I had you that close to me. Any man who has senses wouldn't let a girl go if she were as truly spectacular as you are. I know you don't want to be hurt anymore. But I swear on my life that if I ever had you I wouldn't let you slip away, not nearly as easily as that other jerk face did. But I'll never force you into a relationship either. I can tell this summer was hard on you. And I want you to go to classes like normal, do your homework and get your mind back into the normal Granger way. You're just not the same without your smart remarks towards me" he smirks slightly.

I don't know what I'm doing but suddenly I'm hugging him tightly and crying the last of my tears into his shoulder. This time they're happy tears though. It's been so long since I was last truly happy. It doesn't surprise me he was the one to make me happy. But now I know I need to talk to Luna, Harry and Ron. They deserve to know. I pull back from him and mutter an almost silent 'thanks'.

"Well Miss Granger, it seems that your story took up all of lunch and part of our next and last class of the day. So now you have missed a full day off classes. And to make sure you aren't in trouble for this…I'm willing to put a spell on you to make you have a slight cold so you can go to the Hospital Wing and have it fixed. But it's up to you." He stands up and walks to the door.

"I…uhm...yes please. I can't really miss a day of classes like this again though. I can't fall behind, especially not now." Draco murmmers a spell and I suddenly feel really weak and need to cough. Seeing how fast it worked, Draco picks me up and carries me to the Wing.

I ended up spending about an hour in the Wing before I was able to go. I decided it would be a good idea to go meet up with some friends so I head up to the Gryffindor Tower. "Mumslebumps" I say proudly before walking in the common room. Immediately I see Harry and Ron and go over to them.

"Hermione!" Harry says worriedly. "Why weren't you in class at all today?" he looks at me questioningly.

"Well…that's what I'm here to talk about." I slowly told them about the summer, Jeriko, Draco, Pansy, and then about telling Draco. They both look absolutely stunned.

"Blood hell, Hermione…its Draco. He's been our arch enemy since I don't even remember how long! Since we were like born!!!!" Ron's face bursts with anger and if it gets any redder I swear he might explode.

"I know… I just can't stop these feelings though Ron! You don't think I'm all happy that I'm in love with a guy I should hate, and that happens to be basically related to my best friend? You think that makes me happy!?!?" I'm so close to crying, too close really. And Harry isn't saying anything and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing anymore.

Suddenly Harry clears his throat. "Back off her Ron. Just because you haven't felt what she's feeling doesn't mean you can act like you have. I know how she feels. Hermione, I really don't like your choice in a guy to like, but I can't and won't get in the way of it. If he makes you happy then I say go for it." Ron opens his mouth to protest again. "No Ron, she deserves to be happy. And as for Luna, tell her. The more you wait the worse it gets. Trust me. I was extremely relieved when I told Ron about Ginny, and look at us now, were still dating. So just go for it 'Mione. And if you ever need to talk I'm here for you."

Ron crosses his arms in protest, but refuses to add in anything else knowing Harry will just jump down his throat. "Thanks Harry, that means a lot." I smile at him. "Ron, I understand why you hate this, I don't like it either but I can't change it. I've been trying trust me. But anyway, I better go and get some sleep. I'll tell Luna another day." I stand up to leave and Ron sighs.

"I'll never accept who it is, I'll only accept the fact your happy. If he ever hurts you, I'll kill him." He says sternly whilst staring at the dying fire. I simply smile and leave.

I start walking down the hallways playing the day over and over in my head. So much had happened. I didn't doubt the fact that I probably looked worse than ever but it didn't matter right now. When I get back to my dorm I'll go take a shower and straighten my hair, maybe that will make me look a little better. At this point I'm not paying attention to where I'm walking. But I know I'm on the right path, it just feels natural.

Suddenly I hear a voice. "Miss Granger, it's so good to see your ok! Where were you all day?" I look up to see none other than Professor Dumbledore. "All of your teachers told me you weren't in class, and then I didn't see you at lunch or dinner. I assume you were sick, correct?" he looks at me knowingly. I don't know why he bothers asking. He knows the truth already.

"Uhm, well I did have a slight cold. But I'm better now and will be in class tomorrow. I promise sir." I say proudly. He nods and heads off so I continue.

Finally after what seems like ages I'm back at the dorm and go in. I look around the room and my jaw just drops, I can't believe what I'm seeing…

**AN: So there you have it! The next chapter. I don't know if this is how I really wanted to go about the story, but it just worked. Time will start passing by rather quickly after this next chapter.**

**Also, I'm glad to say that I really hadn't planned on the story being as long as its going to be. It was originally only going to be about 7 chapters long. But now it is going to be much longer. So Id really like to know how you guys feel about it. Reviewing is much appreciated! **


	7. Shock or Dream?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 6: Shock or Dream?**

I just stand at the portrait my mouth gaping as I look around the room. It is covered with pink roses. My favorite flower. Although, I had never told anyone that. So how could he possibly know that I liked them? Well I guess he really doesn't need an explanation since he is a Malfoy and such. Deciding I looked like a moron I closed my mouth and went over to one of the beautiful vases that had about two dozen roses in it. I smelt the roses before looking up and seeing the Flower man himself, Draco.

"Do you like them?" He asked nervously. Maybe he did get the right flowers by chance. I giggle at this.

"Yes I absolutely love them." I smile happily at him. This is the best gift anyone has ever given me. Which makes me wonder, why is he giving these to me? Its not my birthday, I'm not sick; we don't have an anniversary to celebrate. It doesn't make much sense.

Almost as if he sensed my confused state he began, "Well, I was thinking. And I know that you have had it tough and such and thought you deserved something really pretty to make you happy. But I didn't know what you liked so I went for something that most girls liked, roses. And you don't seem like a red rose girl, you're more subtle like a pink rose, pretty and calm. Not 'Oh hey look at me!'" He was rambling and we both knew it. So instead of letting him go on I stepped in.

"They are absolutely gorgeous. Pink roses are actually my favorite. No one other than you knows that though. Jeriko didn't even know. He hated the concept of giving girls roses, said it was too common. But it really does make us feel good." I said as I was looking at and playing with one of the roses. He picked one up, cut off most of the stem with a pocket knife that he swiftly took out of his left robe pocket and then put the rose behind my hair. We smiled at each other briefly before deciding it was time to go to bed since we both had to go to all of our classes tomorrow.

♥

I woke up to the sound of rain pounding against the window. Opening my eyes wearily I realize I have about 2 hours before I have to be down to the greenhouses. Gryffindor's have double Herbology followed by lunch which is followed by Care for Magical Creatures. Outside all day in this terrible whether. Hopefully it will clear up after lunch.

I get up and look down, I never changed last night. Stretching, I walk to the dresser and get a new uniform and head for the bathroom. Forgetting that our bedrooms are connected by the bathroom I open the door to see Draco standing with a towel wrapped around his waist. I feel my face immediately turn shades of red. He doesn't seem bothered by it though. He just smiles. I on the other hand am completely embarrassed and shut the door after saying an almost silent sorry.

Sitting on my bed, I try listening for him to leave. He looked so…I don't even know a word that could give justice to how good he looked. His hair was still wet and dripping onto his built body. Then the drops of water just slipped down over his tightened muscles.

Sudden knocking made me jump and stop my day dreaming. "Hey I'm done now, the bathroom is all yours." Draco said calmly, although he sounded like he was trying with all of his might to not crack up. Of course he would think this whole situation would be hilarious. I decide to wait a few more seconds before going to the bathroom. The last thing I want to do is open the door and see him still standing there.

Taking a deep breath I get up and walk to the bathroom door. I don't hear anyone in there so I open the door slowly. I sigh deeply when I see that he is not in there anymore. I walk over to the shower and turn it on; it's probably already hot, but oh well. I quickly undress and get in. Realizing I probably don't have a lot of time I shower fast and get back out as soon as I can. Throwing on my clothes I run back into my room. I grab my hair brush and quickly brush my hair then dry and straighten it with a quick spell I memorized the other day.

Looking in the mirror I sigh, if only I had enough time to put on some light makeup I would actually look pretty for a day. But it doesn't really matter now. I snap back to reality and grab my book as I run quickly out of my room and get to the portrait where I realize Draco was waiting for me.

"Well, I must say Hermione, you look good for rushing around like a wild animal." He smirks cheekily as he opens the portrait door for me. We walk down to the greenhouses together but act as if we hate being together. I seriously wonder if this will ever go away. I mean sure, Jeriko didn't want to be with me once he found out I had to leave but at least he wasn't scared to be seen with me, he practically paraded me around all of London. But Draco just completely shuts down. Though I can't really blame him. His friends and family would probably disown him forever if he was caught getting along with the Mudblood. But that makes me wonder why he will even walk with me. Even that will get him a taunt or two.

Finally after what seems like ages of silent walking, we reach the greenhouses. Luckily for both of us no one realized we were both gone from breakfast or that we came in the class together, at least no one was brave enough to voice those facts.

Herbology lasted for about 3 hours and when it was finally over I went to lunch with Ron and Harry. As soon as we walked into the Great Hall Luna came up to me. Sudden fear and guilt flushed over my body. "Hermione are you ok??? You weren't at any of the past four meals and Harry and Ron told me they didn't see you at any of your classes, and you look really pale! Are you sick? Do you have the Goblin Gibbers? Father says those are going around. You can' really tell you have them, but you don't feel hungry and you're always really pale and can't think properly. Maybe you should go to the hospital wing! It's really not good to stay sick like this Hermione, plus I heard it tends to be contagious." She looks so seriously concerned. I feel horrible. I know it's not the right time to tell her. It's just not. And I have no idea when it will be. So I decide to just go along with being sick. Maybe it'll get me out of range for awhile. I know I have to go to classes but I can't not have Luna taking me to see if I'm sick or not without having to explain about Draco. There's no way she would be ready to accept this whole thing this soon.

"Yeah, maybe I should." I say quietly feeling horrible for lying to her. Knowing the feeling of guilt won't go away anytime soon if it ever does I gulp slightly.

"Oh no! Hermione! You're already into the gulping stage?!? This is so serious!" She starts to go faster assuming that my 'condition' keeps getting worse. If only she knew how much the real problem was getting. I hate lying to her so much, she's been so great to me and has told me everything that has happened to her and here I am hiding practically the biggest thing that's happened to me. I have to be the worst best friend in the world. And not to mention the worst Head Girl. I really need to get to class. Hopefully I'll be released before lunch is over and I can make it to Hagrid's. Although I know he won't mind if I'm late to class.

We finally make it to the wing, and to my luck Madame Pomfrey said that I was fine and would just need to eat some dinner tonight and get a good nights sleep. So we easily make our way back downstairs and outside. Luna has Herbology so I say bye to her as she leaves the main trail and I continue until I finally reach Hagrid's Hut. Thankfully, the rain let up before Herbology was even half over so I only had to walk in the rain once. By the time I had gotten into the crowd class had started. I rushed over to Ron and Harry and look around for Draco. He was on the other side of the crowd with his Slytherin friends. Not surprising. But the worst part is Pansy is all over him and she just keeps looking at me as if she knows. Although how could she not. This year Draco's paid even less attention to her than normal. And of course it doesn't take much to know that the Head Boy and Head Girl spend almost too much time together. She probably put two and two together.

Just great, now I have my best friend not knowing enough, and my enemy knowing too much. It's not like I could ever be with him anyway. He's probably set to become a Death Eater after school ends. Then he and Pansy will be forced to marry even though that's no where near what he wants. Although, I can't really put words into his mouth like that. Maybe he does want to be a Death Eater. Maybe this whole thing is just a trick. I don't know I'm too confused.

Finally after spending the whole class thinking about Draco and if he would just go and be a Death Eater we were told we could go and everyone started to trail off. As I started to leave Harry tugged on my robe. "Hmm?" I say meekly.

"What's wrong Hermione? I watched you most of the class time. You seemed like you weren't even here. You didn't have your book open at all. It's not even out of your bag. I know something is wrong so just tell me. Even if it's about Draco, just tell me. I can bite my tongue long enough to let my best friend vent." Harry has always been so understanding. We are barely ever apart because he really is the only person I can talk to freely. Most people just assume we are dating but I don't think I could ever date Harry. It would just be too awkward.

Taking a deep breath I prepare myself for this long talk. I tell him everything that's been bugging me. Not being able to tell Luna, having to lie to her, thinking Pansy knows, and not knowing if he is going to be a Death Eater.

"Wow, I see why you're so upset." He hugs me tightly before continuing. "Here's my insight. The longer you wait the worse it will be for Luna, I think a week will be the longest you could wait. I mean if you really think you should wait longer ok, but it won't be fair to her. Who cares what Pansy knows? It's not like anyone would believe her anyway. Everyone knows she just wants Draco in bed. As for the Death Eater, just talk to him. It will be better than just wondering. But it's about dinner time and we both know you have to eat whether you want to see the people in there or not. So let's get going." He smiles comfortingly before taking my hand and walking with me to the castle. On the way there we talk about silly things that happened over the summer at Ron's house. It helped take my mind off of my summer, and everything that was happening now.

Once we finally got to the Great Hall I sighed as we walked in. I decided it would be better to just stare at the floor instead of looking around the hall. When we sat down I quickly ate and got the homework from Hagrid's class from Harry and ran back to my Dorm room. Draco wasn't in the common room so he was either with his friends or in his room. So I decided to just dive into my homework. Within two hours I had both days done. With a sigh of relief I stand up and look at the clock. It's only 8 o clock. I decide to see if Draco's in the common room. I open the door and see an empty room. "Oh well" I whisper softly. Closing the door, I look in the mirror. I finally have gone a day without crying. It feels good.

The next thing I know I'm on my bed reading my Potions book, that's the first class tomorrow and I want to be ahead of Snape. But my eyes are getting really heavy…I just can't hold them open anymore. So I drift to a deep sleep full of undreamt dreams.

**So I really hadn't planned on this chapter being very long at all after I started writing it but oh well. I promise there will be a huge time skip from this chapter to the next, well not huge but fairly large. Please let me know how you feel about the story! I love getting online and seeing new reviews. It makes my day a lot better. Thanks!**


	8. Walk of Hope

**Disclaimer: Nothing is owned by me.**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 7: Walk of Hope**

"Draco! I can't believe you wouldn't remind me about the Ball until now! We only have 3 hours to figure out the whole thing before Dumbledore comes in to get the list of everything to be done!" I pace back and forth trying to think of everything that the dance will need. Picturing how it will all look. Draco just sits back and watches me like nothing else is more important. "This is serious Draco! Do you just not care if we have nothing done for the Ball and everyone just shows up to the normal hall and are all disappointed in us?? We have to hurry!" I look at him with such a fiery glare that his smirk goes away.

"Hermione, its fine. I have everything planned out already. Just calm down and read this. I had my house elf work out all the plans, and don't worry I paid him 10 galleons. So it wasn't slavery or anything. To be quite honest I think its ideas will work very well together so here." he said reassuringly as he handed me the piece of parchment.

I read over the plans quickly realizing that the outcome will be simply amazing. I nod softly to him for agreement. "Good, now we just have to wait in here for three hours until Dumbledore gets here and we can go to Hogsmede. Uh, not like a date or anything. But to meet up with our friends. After all, it will only be noon when he gets here." He slouches back in the green plush chair and closes his eyes as if he were trying to go back to sleep.

"Yeah…well I'm just gonna do all of my homework while were waiting. You can continue sleeping Mr. Malfoy." I say giggling and I throw a scarlet and golden pillow at him and he catches it without opening his eyes.

"You better run Miss Granger." He smiles and gets up and starts running for me. We both run towards my room until he catches me right before the door. He spins me so I'm facing him, our faces are only inches away and the space is quickly dwindling as he leans in for a kiss. I pull back quickly and look away.

"My homework…its waiting." I say regretting pulling away. I look back at him to see him straighten himself out. He looks really mad.

"Right, and my naps waiting for me. Let me know when Dumbledore comes. He briskly walks back to his room and slams his door shut causing me to wince slightly. I slowly step into my room and close my door. Leaning against the door I close my eyes and slide down to the ground. He was right there…he wanted to kiss me but I had to be stupid and pull away.

The past two months have been so confusing. My feelings have grown so much. Sure we still don't talk in public, but while were in the common room its like were the two closest people ever. I'm sure anyone would think were dating if they were to see us when were alone. Of course we still don't kiss. And there is nothing official. There never could be. He's tied to Pansy thanks to his father. He explained that to me two days after I got upset about Pansy staring at me. I didn't ask him about being a Death Eater though. That seemed too personal for me. I certainly wouldn't want him to know if I were one. But then again that's me.

I get back up and start on my homework; after just two hours of working I have all of next weeks work done. I stretch out and get up. Looking in the mirror I decide that I should put on some makeup. I've been avoiding the makeup since the day I skipped all of my classes. But I think if I only use just enough eyeliner to bring out my chocolaty brown eyes it should be ok. After doing so I straighten my hair with a spell and decide to go back out in the common room, Dumbledore will be here in about 15 minutes. I hadn't realized how much time I spent sitting against my door before I did my homework. It really only felt like 2 minutes.

Grabbing the doorknob I jump back hearing a knocking. I back away and go to my pacing mode before saying "Come in" Draco comes in I briefly look up at him before watching my feet as I walk back and forth. He looks like a mess; I'm assuming his long nap turned into a cat nap. Granted I would look that bad too if my homework hadn't distracted me. "Yes?" I say quietly.

"I…I'm sorry Hermione. I shouldn't have done that. But you also shouldn't have thrown that pillow at me." I look up not being able to tell in his voice if he was kidding or seriously mad. But with seeing his normal grin I just smiled.

"Apology accepted, but only if the next time we have to plan something you tell me that I don't have to freak out rather than letting me get even worse before telling me that everything is completely ready. Anyway, we should go into the common room, Dumbledore will be here any moment. And I'm quite sure we don't want him getting the wrong impression by seeing both of us in my room. After all, your father wouldn't be too proud of you being with a muggle born alone in a bed room now would he?" I laugh shortly before I realize that it's not a subject to kid with.

"No, father wouldn't be happy. But he can't choose whom I like, and whom I choose to be alone with. But you're right we need to leave." He said softly, just as if telling me without making it seem like I did wrong. He took my hand like he often did when we were alone and we walked to couch together and sat down. Re-reading the plans I decided that Dumbledore would be pleased. It really would be a good dance tomorrow night.

Suddenly Dumbledore came through the portrait startling both Draco and I. "Good afternoon you two, I do believe you have plans for me?" he said calmly.

"Yes sir! There all here." I stand up and hand him the piece of parchment. "I believe you'll like them." He quietly reads over all of the plans.

"So I am to believe that you two thought of everything on this list?" he asked as if he already knew the answer.

"Uh well sir, that's the thing." Draco was now standing slightly behind me. "I sort of had my house elf do them. We haven't really had time to work on the plans together with class differences and homework and all." Wow he was being really responsible about this. However I knew that Dumbledore really wanted us to work on this together. He plainly wouldn't show it on his face though.

"That's quite alright Mr. Malfoy; I remember what it was like to be a Head Boy such as yourself. I am quite disappointed that you two couldn't even find 30 minutes to just sit and do this though. But ah well we have the plans and I suppose that's all that matters at the moment." He said kindly before leaving.

I turned around to look at Draco to say thank you for telling the truth. As soon as I turned he pulled me in and kissed me softly. He pulled away and grinned. "I couldn't wait any longer" he whispered before walking towards his room. "Oh, I will be back out in a second. I need to grab a couple of things before we head off to Hogsmede." He called out. I decided to run to my room to grab my coat. After grabbing it I looked in the mirror and touched my lips lightly. He…kissed me. What did this mean? Are we together? Did he only have to do it to get it out of his system? I have no idea. Sighing I left the room to see Draco already waiting for me. He took my hand and we walked out of the common room and to Hogsmede together.

The whole walk was completely silent. I was in too much of a shock and too confused about why he kissed me. Not only he has walked me all the way here holding my hand, and a lot of people have seen us. They also haven't minded to give us an odd look when seeing our hands interlocked. But I figure he will just let go of my hand when we get there, since that's where all of his friends are.

Shockingly he won't let go of my hand once we get there, I have even tried to pull away and he won't let me. Is he not ashamed? What's going on? I can't take this anymore. "Draco…why are we still holding hands?"

"Why should we have to, it's no one else's business if we like each other." He says simply as he looks me straight in the eyes. I smile slightly and look forward.

To my dismay whom I see is someone I really did not want to see. Luna is looking at me questioningly as if she hopes what she sees is a complete mistake and a dream. Sadly it's exactly what she sees and that means I have to tell her everything. Including the keeping this from her for two months. She comes up and opens her mouth to talk but stops for a second before. "Hermione, what in the hell do you think you are doing with that scumbag?" she says in a deep roar. I am so screwed…

**AN: Hmmm so I really didn't think this chapter would be anything like this but oh well. I wanted to get the Ball in here but that will be saved for the next chapter I suppose Also, Happy New Year I hope everyone had a good and safe New Year.**


	9. Ball of Terror

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 8: Ball of Terror**

"Luna please, I know…I should have told you sooner…Luna?" I ask hoping for her to come out of her daze. I had finally told her the WHOLE story. And this really wasn't what I was hoping for. I want something. No I need something. Even for her to just slap me across the face and call me a stupid bitch, just anything.

**Flashback**

"_I…uhm…it's a long story Luna." I said shakily. She's never yelled at me like that, and to do it in public? Although I can't really blame her, I'm uh possibly dating her brother. The brother who's family is causing her to live in Hell from day to day. _

_Clenching her jaw she spat out "Then let's go and sit and talk about it. I'm sure I'd love to hear the story of you suddenly holding hands with my brother when I thought you were on hating terms with him along with me!" she grabbed my free hand and started walking with me being pulled along. Draco let go of my other hand and as I looked back at him all I could see was sadness. I couldn't blame him, I didn't want to let go either but I have to explain everything to Luna and he understands that._

_We went into the Three Broomsticks and sat down. "So, now tell me before I actually start to think that you could possibly be in love with him." She said angrily._

_Sighing I started. "Well, when I got here this year, I don't know there was something different about him, I can't really explain it though. And we just kept spending more time together, he told me he liked me and I freaked out and cried because I was scared. Why might you ask? Because I knew I liked him too and I wasn't ready to be hurt not again. After that he helped me when I felt like I couldn't move on anymore. He's always there for me. Surprisingly he is a really good guy deep down. If I were to be told this by anyone last year I would probably ask them if they were being hexed into saying it, but now I really believe it. He…he isn't like his father at all. He doesn't even want what his father wanted for him. He wants to be someone else, someone better. I've actually seen him laugh and smile. And not those fake smiles he has when he makes fun of someone, a true smile that someone has when they're with someone who can bring any emotion out of them. It's so amazing to see." I stopped to let her take it all in for a second. "Well today…we remembered that we had to do the plans for the Ball. I started freaking out and then he told me he had it taken care of. He had his elf do it so that we wouldn't have to frantically get plans together. Then he started to go to sleep so I threw a pillow at him…He got 'mad' and chased me to my door where he tried to kiss me…but I pulled back and he got mad and went to his room. Right before Dumbledore came to get the plans he came in my room and I joked about his father never accepting the fact he was alone in a room with a muggle born and he got super defensive. Anyway, Dumbledore got the plans and then Draco ended up kissing me…then we came here. End of story. I've been trying to tell you but I was scared you would take it all wrong and be mad at me."_

**End Flashback**

"I…why…you could have told me Hermione…It would have been a lot better than finding out the way I did. I mean, yeah I would hate seeing you two together but I would have accepted the fact that you guys make each other happy. And I mean it's not like I can tell you to stop liking him. It's something that's in your heart. Dad did an article about girls falling for the mean guys like Malfoy anyway. So I can completely understand your attraction to him. Heh, even I must admit before we were step siblings I've considered liking Malfoy, but I decided it wasn't worth the rejection. Plus I like Neville too much" she giggles. Thank god, she is ok with it.

"So, uh how about we get some butter beers and go find Harry and Ron?" I ask hoping she will accept this offer. I need to see everyone today.

"That sounds great, and maybe we could accidentally run into Neville" she once again giggles. It amazes me how long she has liked him and never done anything about it. I know he likes her too but they would both kill me if I told the other so I've kept it quiet for two years now.

♥

Draco's Point of View

I quickly finish tightening up my tie. Honestly I couldn't care less about the Ball and dressing up. I just want to be with her. She makes everything go away. Even just being in the same room with her during class makes it better. It makes having Pansy hang all over me like a little slut not matter so much. I take a final look. Wow, I actually make a really good Prince Charming. The white suite with silver lining and forest green tie all came together quite well. I didn't really expect it to look even barely good, let alone all match this well. Sighing, I decide I look as good as I will.

Yesterday was so amazing. I finally got to hold her hand in public, and kiss her. Father of course would never approve, but I've never liked doing as he said. But now he's not here to torment me for doing so. If it weren't for his beatings, and hexing, I never would have been who I was. Hermione has helped me realize that a lot lately. I'm kind of glad Luna knows now. The only people that don't know are the most important people. The main Slytherin's that would end up rating us out to the Dark Lord. Of course after tonight they will figure it out. Head boy and girl have to start out the first dance. And when I'm close to her I loser perspective of everything around me and she's all that matters.

Deciding that I had better make it out into the common room before her I grab the corsage my mother sent for me to give a girl and leave my room. Luckily she is still in her room frantically running around (not to quietly either) trying to finish getting ready. So typical of a girl to never be ready. I smile at this thought and lean against the back of the couch while waiting. "I'm almost done I promise!" I hear her yell out as if she knows I'm already done. I just stare down at the ground lost in thoughts of moments we have shared.

Suddenly I hear a door open and I look up to see the most amazing sight any person could ever see. Hermione bit her bottom lip which had lip gloss on it. She had light makeup on; basically just eye makeup to bring out her beautiful brown eyes more. She wore a floor length white dress that was designed amazingly with silver rhinestones and had no straps. On the back of her dress beautiful white wings were attached. Her hair had been straightened and then put into proper tendrils that fell perfectly past her shoulders which had a little bit of glitter on them. On her neck she wore a beautiful silver necklace with a silver heart hanging from it. She also had a white halo placed upon her head. She looked so beautiful. And she is my date. She walks up to me and I gently put the corsage on her right wrist. She smiles at me "You're beautiful" I whisper.

"I must say you don't look too bad yourself." She giggles. I smile and take her hand and we walk down to the Ball. Many onlookers who didn't see us together yesterday first look at us in awe well mainly Hermione, although I can't really blame them. But then they see that were holding hands and look at us in shock.

Pansy saw us and stepped in our path "I think not. You shouldn't be holding her hand. You shouldn't even be anywhere near her…And wait! That's the corsage your mom picked out for me! What the bloody hell are you doing Drake?" She is trying to be seductive, but her madness is covering it.

I just laugh "Pansy, my mother doesn't like you. She didn't like who my father was anymore. She wants me to be happy, and to be who ever makes me happy. And Pansy, you're not the girl that makes me happy, now if you will excuse me I have a Ball I need to get to." I walk past her and smile at Hermione who just looks at me in shock. "I want tonight to be perfect, and she is not gonna be a threat to the night." I said proudly. It was true, tonight had to be perfect. I planned on asking her out by the end of the night. But that couldn't happen unless everything else was completely perfect.

We stepped into the Great Hall which was breath taking. My house elf made really great plans; I must remember to give them 10 more galleons. Everything was so enchanted and there was a great pumpkin in place of the staff table. The walls are lined with tables people can sit at and order drinks and food. I quickly spot the normal Slytherin gang and they keep waving me over and giving me odd looks. Pansy suddenly appears over there and starts whispering to Blaise and the others who all quickly start looking confused and rather mad.

Suddenly Dumbledore comes up and tells us its time to start off the Ball. I wrap one arm around Hermione's waist and my free hand takes her hand. But someone turns me around and punches me. I can't remember anything after that. I only remember waking up in the Hospital Wing with Hermione sitting next to me. "What happened?" I mumble.

**AN: So there you have it Thank you for the reviews and keep them coming. It really makes me happy to see how you guys like the story. So yeah, there will be another time skip right here. But don't worry everything will still be explained **


	10. Flash From The Past

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 9: Flash From The Past**

Packing my things I sigh. I seriously don't want to leave Hermione for the winter break. I'd rather fight off 100 dragons. But she's going to go see her family too. So maybe its a good thing. I grab a picture of us from the Halloween Ball that was taken right before I was punched. Leaning back against my dresser I think about what happened.

**Flashback**

_I grabbed her waist proudfully. I was ready for this moment. Everything was perfect. Suddenly someone spun me around and punched me, I only remember falling, not landing. Next thing I'm looking at Hermione whom is laying on the bed with me. But it's not my bed...I'm in the Hospital Wing. I adjust my weight slightly which makes Hermione wake up._

_"Are you ok? Are you in pain? Should I get off? I'm sorry I shouldn't have laid down. I was just really tired. And..." I put my finger over her lips._

_"I feel fine, and you can stay on its not bothering me any...But what happened? Who hit me?" I ask realizing I never saw the persons face. I had assumed it would be Blaise. I knew he wouldn't take me being with Hermione well. But really why should he? She's an outsider, and not destined to my horrible ways. _

_Hermione sits up straight and looks down at me. "Well uhm, you'll be rather shocked, I mean everyone...we were all completely stunned. No one even picked you up for like 10 minutes because we were so confused. OH! It was Neville. He said that he was rather angry that you were hurting Luna, even if it wasn't you causing the pain, the fact that their blood ran through your body was enough to anger him and he couldn't stop it. He never meant to knock you out. Especially for three days. Yes, three days. I know it seems like forever. But I guess it was from how hard you landed. And since you weren't prepaired to be hit you couldn't help it. Don't worry no one thinks your pathetic. But people are looking at Neville rather oddly anymore. It's almost like he's some villan now. It's so odd. Oh sorry I'm rambling! I just missed you, sorry." She smiled innocently._

_"It's fine...wow I was taken out by Neville. Never in my wildest dreams would I be able to picture that." I laugh slightly. "So when can I get out of here? I'd much rather be in our dorms than here." Just as if she heard me say it Madam Promfrey came out and told us to go._

**End Flashback**

I smile as I set the photo in my trunk and walk around trying to see if I need anything else. It's been almost two months since then...and Hermione and I have only gotten closer. The Slytherins aren't too thrilled with my choices of being with her, but they have learned to accept the one person they have looked up to for so many years is in love and have moved on with life. Luna on the other hand, she won't talk to Hermione unless she promises not to even mention me. We've decided that when she goes to the library she needs to go alone so that Luna can't bump into us. Which is just one more reason Hermione can't stay with us this Christmas.

Not like she would be able to anyways. More plans are being told to Luna and I. We have to go through more training and go on a family vacation to make us look like were all happy rather than being the miserable excuse of a family that we really are.

Deciding that I had everything that I needed I closed and locked my trunk. Grabbing it I started walking out of my room when I heard a small thunk in Hermione's room. I run out of my room, set my trunk down and open her door.

Holding her foot she mumbles a few curse words. "Should I carry that for you?" I say grinning at her. She looks up and blushes.

"I uhm, no its fine. I can carry it. I sorta just dropped it on my foot when I tripped on the rug and its really heavy from all of my books and.."

"Calm down, I got the picture Hermione" I laugh and she glares at me. Regardless of what she tells me I grab her trunk and walk out of her room. I hear a small 'thank you' as she trails behind me. I grab my trunk and pull both down to the Great Hall. The both of us chat quietly as we wait for the carriges that take us to the train to arrive. As soon as we get on the train we go to the Heads compartment. Hermione and I sit next to each other unlike the last time we were in the compartment. Soon enough she falls asleep with her head on my shoulder. I just smile and read a book.

♥

Hours later the train stops and I wake Hermione up. "It's time to go sleeping beauty" I smile. She smiles back sleepily and gets up. I take our trunks outside of the train then let her take hers. I can't really be seen helping her much anymore. I hug her good-bye quickly and tell her to write if she needs me. Watching her walk away I see her go up to a boy that looks just like what she described Jeriko to be, only he looks horrible. This can only mean bad things...

"Draco!!! My lovely! I missed you so much!" my mum comes and hugs me tightly. "Oh how are you Draco? You look so much better since I last seen you! Although you look slightly worried, whats wrong dear?" I look away from my mum and see that Hermione and Jeriko are gone. Sighing I shake my head.

"Nothing, mum. Just missing someone." I pick up my trunk and walk to the car waiting for us. No suprise Luna's already in the car and looks scared as ever. I sit closer to her and whisper "It's ok. I won't let them do anything to you anymore." She's my sister, and my girlfriends best friend. If something happened to her, I'd never forgive myself. And somehow I don't think Hermione would forgive me either.

♥

_Hermione's POV_

♥

Stepping off the train I saw him right away. It was like a knife stabbing me in the heart. I turn back and look at Draco once again. I hug him good-bye as he tells me to write him if I need him. We're only going to be apart for a week, but I suppose thats longer than we've ever been apart. Considering we usually even sleep together. I start to walk away feeling Draco's eyes follow me. I can't see my parents anywhere. Which means they sent him here to pick me up. I don't understand. Unless they think somehow one week will fix how much he hurt me. I walk up to him and he grabs my trunk and takes me to a car. I really hope Draco wasn't watching.

"So, mind telling me why you are here rather than my parents?" I ask in a rather rude voice.

He chuckles. "I went to go get my teeth checked, and they told me about you coming home and said that maybe if I picked you up I could explain and try to get you back. I feel like crap 'Moine." him calling me that simply strikes another knife. Draco doesn't even call me that. "Well, after I broke up with you...I ran into my ex. And she told me that she missed me and all that other rubbish. I sorta ended up spending the night with her and regretting it the next day. But by the time I got to your house to beg you to forgive me you were on the train. I asked your parents if I could get an address to write to you and they told me that your school didn't have a address to write to. Which confused me but oh well. I get to talk to you now so that's all that matters. You look so much different. How are you? How was school? Anything interesting happen?" He starts driving to my house and I wonder where to begin.

"Well I'm good now. School was good. And just the normal everyday stuff. You really hurt me Jeriko. If it weren't for Draco...I don't even know if I would be alive right now. I shouldn't even be talking to you. I have a boyfriend..." I look down at my feet dreading telling him.

He cleared his throat. "Well, I'm sure Draco's a really handsome, and obviously a very lucky guy. Any guy would be lucky to have you, only a smart one would be able to keep you though. I'm guessing he's the guy you hugged after you got off the train...I'll admit his hair is a bit too blonde. But you two look happy together. So I'm glad. I'm gad that you got out of this heart break with him. I'm glad you were able to move on." He shifts in his seat slightly refusing to remove his eyes from the road.

I feel like crying, and I haven't in so long. "I'm sorry Jeriko, you still mean alot to me. But Draco...he's there for me. And he doesn't leave me because he won't see me for awhile. And there is a way to mail me at school, and I would have told you how, I wouldn't leave you compeletly in the dar for so many months. But I guess it doesn't matter." I look out my window and notice we are only about a minute from my house which saddens me in some weird way. I hadn't talked to him in so long, and even the second I saw him I started falling all over again.

"I still love you Hermione Granger and always will." He finally says as he opens his door and gets my trunk. I get out and look at my house. He carries my trunk into the house and I slowly follow him. As we get into the house my parents look and sound thrilled to see us.

"Oh Hermione! You look as darling as usual! And look at you two, your so adorable! I'm so glad I got him to pick you up!" my mom just refuses to give it up. I can tell by the look in her eye that she knows I don't want to be near him anymore and that hes really hurt.

I just walk over to my room and Jeriko follows me. Once he gets in he sets my trunk down by my window and looks at me. "Look, I know you love him you dont want me. But, just please don't forget me or shut me out. Here's something to remember me by." He tosses a picture book on my bed and kisses me softly. Watching him walk out I wish he would just stay.

"Jeriko...I still...I still..." I can't even say it.

He turns around with a hopeful look on his face "Yeah?"

Sighing I finally spit it out...

**AN: Did you really think I'd give the full day? Well I wanted to but I can't write anymore tonight, and I know all of you want an update! So here it is. Betcha didn't see the whole Neville thing coming Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed it. And sorry it took so long to write! Ill be more on top of things from now on I promise! R&R Please and Thank you **


	11. Break Of Horror

**Disclaimer: Nothin's owned by me**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 10: Break of Horror**

_Draco's POV_

I looked around the room that my father used to make his business deals, and tourture me in. Everything he owned was stacked up aroudn the room. Any wizard could make a fourtune off of all of these objects. "Sell them, burn them, do as you please as long as I never have to see them again." I spit at a Death Eater whom was waiting to deal with the objects until I got home. "Nothing of his deserves to be in this room anymore. Its all scum to me. And no I do not care I was there when he died. He meant nothing to me. That dirty blood of a step father means more to me than Lucius could ever mean to any person." I stalk out of the room wishing I never had to even go in there. I hear the man whisper 'As you wish master' softly. I really don't understand why everyone insists that because my father died that I'm suddenly in his place. Yes I am the last Malfoy to breed but honestly I'm not roalty.

Only if they could all know that I don't want to be with a pureblood. Mother already suspects it. She saw Hermione and I hug earlier. She doesn't mind. She's just scared for my safety. My best bet is to cool it with Hermione. But I'm not sure if I could do that. Even thinking about her makes me smile. No ones ever made me smile before.

But the whole fact that her Ex was there and picked her up bothers me. I know he's not done with her. And Hermione could be easily pursuaded to do almost anything. And that scares me. I don't want to lose her to that jerk off. I don't want to lose her at all. I continue to walk to my room not paying attention to my surroundings. Luna normally keeps to her room. She hates being here so badly. And I don't blame her. I tried running away when I was five, but all it got me was 3 hours of beatings and hex's.

Suddenly I bumped into something. "Oh, sorry...I-I-I...I was hungry and I thought I could go to the kitchen. I didn't mean to run into you...I'm sorry..." She sounded so scared and sad. Slowly I reached out and brought her chin up. If she was going to live as a Malfoy, she needed more pride.

"Don't be sorry. I wasn't watching either. Actually, I think I'll join you if you don't mind. We don't get to talk to often. So I think we need to talk anyways." I smiled at her genuienly, something I've never done with Luna.

She looked back down at her feet then into my eyes. "I'd like that actually." So we started walking together in a calm silence. Once we got into the Kitchen we got what we wanted to eat and sat down at the small table the chefs usually sat at. Looking around once more I made sure no one was in the room before locking the room and putting a silencing charm.

"Now we can be completely open..." I whispered in relief. "Luna, I know I've always avoided this subject completely...But I do love Hermione...And I'm worried about her."

Luna shifted slightly in her seat. "I know you love her. Any person with a half way decent mind could tell that. Father says that most people can tell when others are in love because they share words that are so romantic and heartfelt, but everyone else hears 'Flabberghast' over and over. I think its complete rubbish. Although I've never heard anything. It's all a whispy blurr to me. But why would you be worried about her? Her parents are wonderful people. I actually met them two summers ago! They said I was silly for asking if they ever saw Gympsys in anyones teeth, but 90 of wizards have them!" she said with enthusiasum. Sometimes I wonder about that girl.

Sighing deeply I started to explain my concern for Hermione "Well you see..."

_Hermione's POV_

"I still want you to be my friend. I know we will never be able to be together again. But being friends...We must. I do miss being with you sometimes. But i'm not going to lose Draco, someone that honestly loves me for someone whos willing to leave me for no reason. But you have got to grow up for this to--" I was quickly silenced by Jeriko kissing me deeply with as much passion he could muster up. Not knowing what to do I did all I could do-kiss him back.

We were so lost in the moment that we spent what seemed like eternity just kissing before Jeriko brushed his tongue along my bottom lip asking for entrance. With this I snapped back into reality and pushed him away. "Get out..." my voice was dark and filled with anger.

"Hermione...I'm so sorry...I don't know what came over me, please don't make me go..." Jerkio pleaded with his heart.

All I could do was glare at him. "I said get the hell out. I don't ever want to see your face EVER again. GET OUT!!!" I shrieked. I couldn't believe he would do such a thing. It was totally immature and wrong. He KNOWS I have a boyfriend now, and that finally I'm happy with how things are. And he has to go and pull a trick like this.

"Fine, but you'll be crawling back to me this time. Trust me. No one turns down Jeriko and goes on without regretting it. I'll be seeing you later Granger." he sounded so cold that it sent chills down my spine and made me want to cry and he stalked out of my bedroom.

_Why was he acting like this? Why all of sudden is he so possesive? He never seemed the type to be like that. I honestly don't care if I ever see him again, after acting that childish I wouldn't be able to act the same with him. He knows how I feel about Draco._ Silently I unpack some of my things and open my Potions book to get started on a two foot essay about a potion no one but me had ever heard of.

Suddenly an owl started pecking on my window. Looking up I quickly realized it was Hedwig and rushed to my window to let her in. I took the envelope she was holding and opened the letter.

_Hermione,_

_We all miss you, I'm sure you'd much rather stay with Draco this Christmas, but everyone would like to know if you'd come to the Burrow. I know its not the Malfoy Manor, but its a good time waiting for you. Please, please consider it. We all love and miss you!_

_xxx, Ginny._

I smile and decide that the Burrow would be a much better choice then having to sit here with Jeriko being able to come in at anytime. I feed Hedwig a treat and let her fly back to the Burrow. Running downstairs I hope that my parents will allow me to go. I stop in the kitchen were my dads standing. For some reason I feel panic-stricken.

Trying to act casual I pick up an apple up out of the bowl of fruit and ask him "Hey dad do you think I could maybe go to my friends house this break? I never really get to talk to them at all anymore with all of my Head duties, and advance courses this year." I casually take a bite of my apple as I sit on the stool awaiting his answer.

Somewhat coldly he answered. "Why Hermione, Why? Jeriko is so right for you, you make him happy and I know he makes you happy. You would have such brilliant beautiful babies." A thousand knives stabbed into my heart all at once. Why can't they just understand I don't want him?

"I'm sorry dad but hes not all that you see. I have a boyfriend already, one that doesn't hate me for not being with him every waking moment. One that actually trusts me to be away from him for awhile, one that isn't overly protective. And dad, I love him. Not Jeriko. So please just let it go." I say sadly, knowing this isn't what he wants to hear.

He grumbles and looks up at me. "You love this new boyfriend? This new, wizard boyrfriend? What if he only has a spell on you? I don't like the fact that you yourself are a witch, which is why I want you to date a normal human, not a freak." The words struck my heart, a freak. At school I'm a dirty mudblood, and now my fathers telling me in his own words the same thing.

"I am not a mudblood. I am your daughter, you should be proud of me. I'm the best witch of my age, I work so hard to make you and mum proud and this is what I get? It's bad enough the wizarding world won't fully accept me because my parents are filthy muggles, but for my own father to disown me??? How could you?!?! Don't even answer that. I'm leaving to see my friends and I won't be back ever." I said sternly. The words suprised me but they were honest. I chucked my apple across the room narrowly missing my dads head and ran up the stairs to be stopped by my mum who was flooded in tears.

"I'm so sorry Hermione, I tried telling him. I really did. He just wants the best for you." she said sobbing into her hands.

I scuff and nearly scream "AND YOU THINK JERIKO IS BEST??? Hes a complete fool and made me kiss him!!! Then he threatens me! Oh yes what a GREAT choice he is. I am leaving and thats FINAL." I stomp into my room and pack everything back into my trunk. I pick up the item Jeriko brought me and throw it against the wall. Quickly I apparate to the Burrow.

I smile as I look at the happy home. Feeling slightly chilled I walk inside to hear Ginny squeal and hug me tightly. "Oh Hermione! I was expecting you to come but not this quickly!" She took a step back to look me over. "Wait, whats wrong?"

Imeadietly I fall to my knees crying. "I'm such a filthy person...No one loves me for me..."

_Draco's POV_

"Well you see...Jeriko picked her up today. And theres something about him. I just don't like him. I don't trust him with Hermione. We both know that she is easy to give in to things that she doesn't want to please the people around her. I just don't want to find out that my girlfriend has been tricked into sleeping with some jack-ass. Plus why didn't her parents pick her up like normal? It just doesn't make sense" I shake my head angerly. I miss her and its only been a few hours.

Luna sighed slightly. "Draco she lo--" Both of us lost our attentions as someone broke through the door-Lord Voldemort.

He laughed cruely sending chills down my spine. "You foolish teens wanted some 'alone sibling bonding time?' This break is not for that, this break is for you two to learn to respect, follow, and obey my orders. Now I have a precious task for you both. I know you are Best Friends, and Head's with Hermione Granger" I nearly fainted as he mentioned her name...This was not going to be good. "We need her on our side, she's too brilliant to be safely left on the light side. So my task for you both is to disscuss how you plan on bringing her to our side sufficiently. Do this quickly as possible. If she isn't on our side by the end of the summer, consider yourselves dead. That is all good day." and with a silent 'poof' he was gone leaving Luna and I speechless and hurt. I could never do this to Hermione...Never.

**AN: So wow, I had no idea what I was doing in this chapter. So if it makes no sense at all my apologies. Don't worry, Jeriko will be back before breaks over. I meant for this to be out way sooner, but after I started writing it I lost intrest because I didn't know where to go with it. But lately Ive been in a writing mood so I decided to quickly finish this chapter, and I might start the next tonight and finish it tomorrow morning D Please R&R!**


	12. Dirty Blood Never Fails

**Disclaimer: Do I really need to say that nothing is owned by me?**

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 11: Dirty Blood Never Fails**

It had been 3 days since Voldemorts lovely visit. Neither Luna or I wanted to talk about it. I couldn't. Hermione wasn't suited for our side. She would simply be eaten alive. But regardless, we both know she has to join our side or all three of us will be killed. Which reminds me, my worry for Hermione simply grows by the day. Tomorrow's Christmas and I still haven't heard from her. I would have expected at least an "I made it home ok" or a "I hope your ok" or even a simple "I love you" but nope, nothing.

Jealousy has been pumping through my veins as I want to scream in agony. I miss her too much. And knowing that everything that happened on my break will just hurt her kills me even more. All of a sudden I hear a faint pecking at my window and open it. The owl quickly flys in and gives me a letter.

As soon as I open it I recognize Hermione's beautiful writing and smile.

_My Prince,_

_I'm sorry I haven't contacted you before this. I just didn't know what to say. I'm at the B. now, but I have to go back home the day before breaks over. Everyone wants me to confront my father and make him understand. Oops, maybe I should explain that first off._

_Yes, before you even ask, that was Jeriko that picked me up, basically he was begging for me back and wouldn't take no for an answer. Well mum and dad are so set on the fact that him and I are meant to be. We went into my room...and we sort of...kissed. I didn't want to. And after I realized what was happening I pushed him away. I'm so sorry Prince. There wasn't anything I could do...Then he said I would come crawling back to him. And he left, right afte rhe did Hedwig came with a message from G. to come here. So I went to talk to my dad about it. And...And...he said I had dirty blood...he hates that I'm a witch, and doesn't want me dating a wizard, but instead a muggle so that I can have "normal" kids. So I had to leave..._

_Everyone here has been so great. I do feel better, but I'm scared to show my face at my parents home again. I know I cna do it but still. _

_I hope your break is going better than mine, I love you and please tell L. I said hello._

_Your Princess._

Reading the letter over and over, hoping and praying that I had read it wrong, reality had set in. Hermione had cheated. Not horribly. And not by her choice. But the fact that the ass hole had even touched my precious girl made me want to kill him that instant. I need to see her, now. Without thinking I apparate to the Burrow.

Looking around I wonder why I even came. There is no way that they would allow me in. After my years of calling this place a dump. To be honest, looking around I feel like I'm at home. The tall house is very welcoming and warm. Even though there is snow covering everything you can see where a large garden used in the spring and summer is. Holes peek through the snow at random spots with the occasional gnome popping out. I smile and look back up at the house. _Its now or never. _

Walking up to the door I keep double thinking myself. But I find myself knocking anyways. The door swings open as Mrs. Weasley gives a cheerful "Happy Holidays!" before she realizes who it is. "Oh...Malfoy, what brings you here during this joyful and peaceful season?" her voice quickly changed to stranious and unhappy.

Sighing I try to do my best at lying. "Well Mrs. Weasley, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I would pop in for a moment to talk to the Head Girl about some of our Head duties that we have to attend to once we get back to the castle. Do you mind if I come in? Its not the warmest out here." I say quickly realizing that I'm freezing cold.

"Of course, make yourself at home. I will go fetch Hermione for you." She stepped to the side allowing me to come in. I sat at the kitchen table looking around me. The pots and pans were washing themselves thoroughly and quickly. The smell of fresh baked cookies wafted into my nose suddenly making me realize I hadn't eaten all day. Frowning at my hunger I continued to look around. My eyes fell upon an old Grandfather clock. It had 11 hands on it, one for each of the Weasley members and also one for Potter and one for Hermione. Silently I smiled as Hermione's hand went from 'Traveling in Dreams' to 'Safe at Home'.

Suddenly someone ran down the stairs and spun into the kitchen quickly. A huge smile formed across her face as she jumped into my lap. "I missed you so much" she whispers loudly. I place a small gentle kiss on her lips. Her smile quickly turned into a sad smile. "I'm so sor--" I put my hand up. She nods understanding that I have forgiven her.

"I don't want you seeing your father ever again." I say calmly. "Not this break, not after we graduate, never. I know how guys like him are Hermione. It will only be trouble if you do go." A small plead came through in my voice which I silently cursed for.

Her face quickly dropped knowing I was right. Sighing she replied, "It's something that has to be done though. I'll be ok, I promise. And Monday I'll be back in the Head Dorms with you. And with a fresh start." She looked down at the ground her body language screaming 'Please don't hate me'

I pull her closely to me reassuring her that no matter what, I will always be there for her. "I love you" I whisper so quietly that even Hermione could barely hear. Suddenly a smile formed on the precious angel. She really had grown up, her face was its regular radiant self, and her hair was always tamed and normally straight now. She smelled of lavendar and spring meadows. Wearing a pink t-shirt and flare jeans, she couldn't have looked any cuter.

BANG "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR PLAYING AT MALFOY!?!?" Hermione quickly jumped out of my lap, causing me to frown and look at who was irrationally yelling at me. Ginny. I should have guessed considering Harry and Ron already knew, and the fact that Ginny was the only girl here other than Hermione and Mrs. Weasley. "Stop looking like you don't comprehend what I'm saying, I know your not dumb Malfoy. ANSWER ME." She looked as though she would just explode at any moment.

So I laughed. I couldn't control it I could only sit there and laugh. Hermione looked at me highly amused and confused. "This isn't a time to laugh Malfoy. Tell me why the hell your in my house with my best friend in your lap right now or I'll hex you until you cry." her voice was cold and distant. Straightening myself out I stopped laughing and looked at Hermione.

"Would you like yo explain to Miss Weasley why we were so passionately close? Or shall I?" She looked at me knowing that she would have to do it.

Clearing her throat she began to explain. "Well Ginny, you see...Draco and I...Were sort of kind of seeing each other...And have been for awhile now." Hermione looked at her feet almost expecting to be yelled at.

"Oh..." she replied simply. "...Its about time you tell me. I've known for months. I mean COME ON. Everyone saw you guys at the Ball! The way you guys looked at each other...It was almost mesmerizing. I was just angry you guys hadn't let me in on the secret. I mean c'mon, PANSY knows, and yet you can't tell little ol' Ginny?" she pouted. Once again I felt the urge to laugh but this time I controlled myself.

Looking at my watch I realized I had been gone for nearly an hour, and without knowing what all would be happening at the Manor I decided I had better hurry and get back. "Well ladies, as much as I would love to stay here and chit chat, but I am needed else where. And since I won't be seeing you tomorrow, here is your Christmas present. No peeking got that?" Hermione nodded, a large smile forming on her beautiful face. I pulled a small thin rectagular box out of my jacket and handed it to her. Kissing her forehead I quickly said good bye to the girls before apparating back to the Manor.

"Well well Mister Malfoy, its about time you've shown up. We need to have a talk."

_Hermione's POV_

I took the box from his hand, wondering what was inside. An necklace is what I assume but theres no telling what type of necklace it could be. But with a kiss on her forehead he was gone. A sadness filled me but I knew it would only be three more days after today and I would be able to sleep in his arms again.

"You realize, now you have to tell me EVERYTHING right?" Ginny's forgotten presence suddenly slapped me in the face. I looked up at her pleading face. "Let's go to my room noooooow, I want every tiny detail of EVERYTHING. Got that _everything_. If anythings left out, I'll give you a face full of acne. And we all know that you would look _soooo_ lovely with acne, but I knwo you wanna tell me anyways!" She excitedly grabbed my arm and pulled me up the stairs.

On the way up we bumped into Fred and George. I hadn't seen them the whole time I had been there so I assumed they have just got home. "Hey!" I said happily as I stopped Ginny.

The two twins nodded and said hello quickly while shoving small items into their pockets. I assume that its just something for their joke shop. Lately they haven't wanted anyone to see what their coming up with.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "When you two are done making your oh so secret items come talk to us. Actually no don't we will jsut see you both tomorrow. Now Hermione COME ON." She dragged me up the last few stairs until we finally reached her room. It most definitly had to be the most relaxing and well, normal room in the house.

Ron shared a room with Harry now, whom had offically moved in last summer. Their room as any person can imagine was filled with quidditch things. Posters of the boys favorite teams and players plastered the walls. Only one poster really stuck out to me though, the poster of Krum. The two had drawn all over it. It makes me quite angry considering I still keep in touch with Krum and am pretty good friends with him. He claims hes still in love with me. But to be honest I think he doesn't know what the true meaning of love is yet. Regardless, I let him think he is and visit him twice every summer.

Fred and George had their old room still, since they spent most of their time at their store they thought it would be a waste to go and buy a home of their own so they still live here. But they don't normally get home until midnight or later. Therefore I never see them, nor have I seen their room. I can imagine its stuffed with products that they have in the testing stages, old products, and business things.

Charlie and Bill had come home for the holidays, and were sharing a room like old times. I had been in their room once the whole break to get a book from Charlie about dragons. On the walls there were pyramids and dragons of all sorts. For the most part the room was pretty tidy except the odd sock here and there and a few scattered books.

I had been staying in Percy's old room the time I have been here. They kept it exactly like he had left it. Newspaper clippings hung on 5 different bulletin boards. All the clippings were things Percy found interesting and important, most of them I thought were pointless, mostly because they had to do with Barty Crouch. Which was not suprising.

But Ginny's room was perfect for any teenage girl. Pink walls lined with Witch Weekly's Hottest Wizards and a few muggle actors that I had recognized. Her bed sat in the middle of her room with a large canopy. Thorought the room was magazines both muggle and magic ones. Both of us walked in and went directly for her bed. Once we both were comfortable I told her everything about Draco and I. She listened with such intensity that I thought she would die if she missed something.

After I was done she jsut sat there amazed. "Wow...you two are like the least likely to get together. With you two being enemies and all."

I quickly looked at my watch realizing I was really tired. One A.M. "What timezit?" Ginny yawned.

"One" I said quickly.

"HERMIONE!!!! Its CHRISTMAS, do you know what that means????" She looked at me excitedly. Looking at the box I nodded. "OPEN IT CRAZY WOMAN!!!" she ordered. It almost seemed like she was more excited than I was.

"Okay okay, jeez calm down!" I said sleepily. I opened the silver box to reveal a silver necklace. I gasped, as did Ginny. It had a rose with a snake wrapped around it. In the center of the rose was a smallish diamond. On the back of the rose was "HD" with a heart around it. Ginny quickly put it on me as I read the note that came with it.

_I really hope that you like your present, I made it myself. I tired a lion with a snake, but it just looked too weird. But this, it fits you-us perfectly. Happy Christmas_

♥♥♥

It was the day before break ended. As I stood outside of my house I debated. Holding my necklace tightly I decided to go in. I quickly found my father watching tv. "Dad..." I spoke quietly. He turned off the tv and quickly I looked to the couch and realized Jeriko was there too. What was the meaning of this? Did he know I would come back? "What is _he_ doing here?" I ask bluntly giving both cold looks.

Jeriko got up and came over to me "Well Miss princess of the whole world. I am spending time with your father, who is soon to be my father in law." he said with a smirk.

"Like hell he is" I said not wanting to control anything anymore. I whipped out my wand and pointed it at Jeriko. "Stay the hell away from me. And don't EVER think that I would ever sink so low to marry you, let alone be your friend." He stepped closer and pushed my wand aside.

"Oh come on Hermione, you know you want to be with me, you long for my touch. You want me to make you mine. It can all happen. Just stop being so damn stubborn about it." he said snidly.

Rolling my eyes I try to control my temper. "Being touched by you, would be like walking through a muddy swamp. Slimy and annoying."

He reached out and grabbed me pulling me into another kiss. Quickly I pulled away. "I said don't touch me..." making sure enough danger was in my voice to scare him off.

"Aww is little Hermione going to cast a spell on me to make me leave her alone? Go ahead, prove that your nothing but a no good dirty blooded human. Prove to me that your so stained with this 'power' that you could kill me." he was challenging me...and I was ready to deliver.

I laughed. "I wouldn't waste my breath killing you, torture yes, killing no."

"What, is your blood not dirty enough to kill me?? Will your dirty blood fail if you try?"

"No, but why give you the pleasure of being able to see it not fail?"

"Someones scared to fail..." he laughed evilly.

I whispered the killing curse beneath my breath and with an instant Jeriko was dead. I looked at his body not being able to believe I had actually killed him..."Dirty blood never fails..." I whispered before running out of my house and leaving for any place but there.

**AN: Wow Hermione actually killed him! And now George likes her, and Draco has a suprise visitor. But who was it? R&R!**


	13. Frozen

Not So Secret Love

**Disclaimer: I dont own HP**.

**Chapter 12: Frozen**

_I whispered the killing curse beneath my breath and with an instant Jeriko was dead. I looked at his body not being able to believe I had actually killed him..."Dirty blood never fails..." I whispered before running out of my house and leaving for any place but there. _

♥♥♥

I had been walking for about three hours when I stopped at a large field. My house was at the edge of the city so I could easily get to the country side. Shivering slightly I pulled my jacket around me tighter as I lay in the foot of snow. I do love the winter, but a person can only be out in the snow for so long without needing a fresh blast of warmth. I would do nearly anything to get a nice butterbeer right about now.

I killed him...I kill someone. It doesn't matter that it was him...Just the fact that I was the cause of someones death was enough for me. I can't face my friends now. They'll never look at me the same. I'm almost as bad as a Death Eater. Killing people for no reason.

Well...I did sort of have a reason. God only knows what could have happened if I hadn't. He seemed so creepy. As if he was going to rape me...Well at least thats what most rapists looked like in movies right before they would commit the crime. I was scared, no...I was completely terrified. I did not under any circumstances, want to lose my virginity to that creep. Why couldn't he just accept the fact that I didn't want him in my life anymore? Why couldn't my father make him leave rather than urge him to try harder? It didn't make any sense anymore.

Once again I shiver deeply, thinking about how nice a blanket would be right now...and just to be able to sleep for a few hours. Hopefully I could wake up to all of this being a nightmare. Snow starts falling again making the surroundings colder yet.

I start to drift into an uneasy sleep as I hear a distant 'pop'. I know someone has just apparated...But I can't keep my eyes open...its so cold...

_DRACO'S POV_

Ron had come to my house, he was in a horrible mess. Appearently, he had gone to Hermione's house as soon as he found out she left. He knew something was wrong, but then again how could he not? Even if he refuses to admit it we all know that he has a deep love for her. Unfourtunetly for him, she has only been able to see him as a brother figure.

He quickly informed me that Jeriko had tried to apologize to her but she went into a crazed trance and killed him with her wand. This of course, sounds like complete rubbish to me. But regardless, I must find Hermione. Whom had ran from her house as soon as she killed him.

Secretly I was thrilled she had killed that jerk. There was something about him from the moment I laid eyes on him, that I knew wasn't right. He had a vibe like my cousin from Ireland that tended to rape innocent homeless girls. It makes me absolutely sick to know people like that. But still...it hadn't really explained why Hermione had killed him. Did he actually try something with her? Was she being controlled by Voldemort? Either way I needed to get to her now.

So I apparated to a field some distance from her house. But to my suprise, there was a human laying in the field. Curious as to why someone was laying in the snow covered field I ran over to them. At once I realized it was my Hermione. I picked her up and apparated back to the Manor.

I cast a warming spell on her, hoping that she would be ok. Her whole body had a blue tint to it, which told me she had been out in the cold for quite awhile. I laid her on my bed and sat next to her, watching her sleep. It was too tempting to wake her and ask her why she had done it. But I knew she needed rest after being in the freezing cold for so long. Slowly, she began regaining her beautiful skin color.

Suddenly Luna burst through my bedroom door. I look at her with a puzzled face. "Get...Her...Out...Now..." she said while gasping for air. "Dark Lord...Here...twenty minutes...Out...now!!!" She paused for a moment and caught her breath. I quickly gathered Hermione up as she did so. "He wants to know our progress. And if she's here he'll think she's ready for taking. So get her out now, or I will hex you." Luna glared at me. Never before had she seemed this serious. I honestly don't think anyone had seen this side to her. She even likes the oddest guy at Hogwarts.

"Ok, ok...I will be back soon." and with a tiny pop I left to the Burrow. It was the only place I knew she would be remotely safe other than Hogwarts. And right now, Hogwarts wasn't exactly an option. I looked around the homey house to see Ginny sitting at the kitchen table gravely staring at her cup of hot tea as if it would run away if she looked up. "Ginny...Please where can I put Hermione? And before you ask...no I don't know. But I need to get back home soon, and I can't leave her there. It's too dangerous." Ginny looked up and ran up the stairs, I knew she wanted me to follow suit, so I did. She led me to a beautiful room with a bed in the middle. I laid Hermione down on the bed nodded at Ginny and with yet another pop I went back to the Manor.

**AN: Sorry that this is so short, AND late. But...I really didn't want her to kill Jeriko. It was completely unplanned and...I sorta regret it. But I have figured out a way to twist the story now with that. So it worked in the end. But, I wont be able to update for another long while as I have to have another surgery this Thursday, but I will try to get up another one tomorrow...Which will basically go over Voldemort's visit, whom visited Draco in the last chapter, and what Hermione will tell everyone. **


	14. Ginny's Secret

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 13: Ginny's Secret**

**Disclaimer: Oh how I wish I did own Harry Potter, but of course I do not.**

I awoke the next morning confused as to why I was in the room I knew so well. How did I get into Ginny's room? Shouldn't I be dead from the freezing cold? Who had saved me? Quickly my thoughts were stamped by a soft whimpering in the corner. Not being able to move my whole body yet (who knew being nearly frozen could take so much out of one person?), I looked over to the noise and saw Ginny sitting in a corner, her head was against her knees. "What's wrong?" I managed to barely whisper.

Ginny looked up and smiled sadly. "Everything...It's all messed up...I'm so stupid 'Mione. Why did I do it?" I look at her with confusion. What had happened? Did her and Dean break up? No. They were too close to break up now. Just a week ago Ginny was saying how she felt like she was finally in love. I was finally able to pull myself and sit up. But no sooner had I sat up, Ginny was forcing me back down. "Mum say's you can't sit up for another day, and you can't walk for another two. I'm the only one staying with you, seeings as the train left about two hours ago. When your able to walk again both of us will go back to school. Until then Malfoy...sorry _Draco _will be bringing us our homework." I smiled at her.

But this didn't answer why she was crying. "Ginny...what's wrong?" I repeat, hoping to get a straight answer. She looked at her wall sadly.

"It's my fault... Hermione... I know Jeriko. When you had told me about him... I didn't realize it was the same one. Oh Hermione... he wasn't a muggle. His father is well, my uncle. This is all my fault. I was really close to Jeriko... and he told me about this really smart, pretty girl he met over the summer. And he was thrilled because this is his first year out of school. He said he was so upset that she was leaving that he broke up with her and right away he felt horrible about his choice. So I told him to try to get in contact with this girl. He said she thought he was a muggle. I suggested he see her over break, but in the meantime to make a photoalbum of pictures taken over the summer. Well, he recently owled me, saying that she had a boyfriend now and didn't seem like she was completely over him though. So I told him to try to talk some sense into her. That maybe he could get her to see that he really loved her... But I had no idea...he never mentioned the girls name. I pushed him... Everything would have been fine if I didn't get involved. I'm so sorry Hermione." She once again burst into tears. I rubbed her arm and told her everything was ok until she calmed back down.

"I just... I can't believe he's dead... he's really gone. Of course I don't blame you Hermione. But why did you do it? I know you must have had a good reason. Hermione Granger doesn't go around muttering the killing curse at every few random people." Ginny looked at me, her eyes filled with questions. Not to mention dispair. I killed one of her best friends.

I sighed as I started. "He was at my house when I went to go talk to my father. He just... wouldn't leave me alone. My father was egging him on. Oh Ginny I was so terrified. If I would have known you knew him I wouldn't have done it. But I just... couldn't handle it. He was too close to me... I was scared he would do something to me... So I panicked and the next thing I know I'm staring at his lifeless body and running out the door. I just...didn't know what to do. How did I get here anyways?" I realized no one had explained who brought me, or even found me. Ginny looked slightly happier at this question.

"Your lover boy." she said in a girly, perky voice. "He said it wasn't safe to keep you at the Manor so he brought you up here. He found you in a field nearly frozen about three hours after you...Well you know. He came back later that night to give you a note. It's under your pillow, I didn't read it I swear!" She looked completely guilty as I gave her a look to say 'right and I'm the queen of England'. "Ok, so I read it... But there was nothing good in it." rolling her eyes, she got the letter out for me and laid on her bed to relax.

_My Dearest Hermione,_

_I am not mad at you in any way for killing him. I'm actually quite proud of you. I never knew my little Hermione would have the courage to do something like that. Regardless, I will need to speak with you about this because no matter how much it may have been needed at that point in time, I know you know other curses that would have been so much better. You could have simply frozen him and gotten me. Therefore, I am also dissapointed in you. _

_And even more so because I found you in the snow. It was almost as if you wanted to kill yourself after you had done this._ Well I kind of did... _I don't want to lose someone like you to that. So, I'm glad I found you in time. But you're going to have to promise to never do that again. _

_That guy wasn't worth your time and energy and you know it. But oh well, we can't change what happened now. Get better soon, I will check on you tomorrow before the train leaves and if you haven't awoken by then expect me around dinner time. We need to talk about this._

_Love, Draco._

"Hermione?" Ginny asked with a slight worry in her voice.

"What is it Ginny?" I ask with a soft tone.

She sat up and starting playing with her hair nervously. "You love Draco right?" I nodded. "Well...Have you guys...you know...yet?" I looked at her shocked by her words.

But then it sunk in. We had been together offically for at least two months, but have known we liked each other for four. "Uhm...well...no. Why? Have you and Dean?"

She waved her hands quickly. "No! But... I think he wants to. I sort of do. But... theres still that part of me that misses Harry terribly. I know he wants me safe and such. It's just that, no one is anything like him. He's so brave and smart and courageous. Not to mention incredibly stong and handsome!" She giggled at her own words. "I miss him 'Mione. I really do." I got up far enough to hug my best friend in an understanding way.

"Well between you and I, he misses you too. He spoke to me about it a few days ago while you were in the shower. He hasn't dated anyone since you. Not to mention the fact that when he found out you and Dean were dating he nearly killed him. Doesn't help Dean too much that Ron him and Harry all have to share a dorm. A few times they've caught him talking to Neville about you. All good things of course." I added seing her horror-struck face. "Like the fact that if you guys ever break up he will be crushed, and that your the most beautiful girl in the world. Of course Harry couldn't disagree with him, but still. You know how Harry is when it comes to us girls." I laughed slightly finding it quite painful to do so.

"Thanks Hermione. But I think I'm going to go get a shower, you should rest up a bit before Draco comes. I suspect he would be quite angry with me if you look worn out." and with a small smile she left. Everything was so weird now. I was still in disbelief that I had actually killed the first boy to ever say he loved me. The first boy I ever loved... No I didn't love him. I was just excited at the concept of love thats all. Draco is my first love.

As my thoughts continued, I drifted off into a restless sleep.

_DRACO'S POV_

I floo'd into the Burrow to meet a buslting Mrs. Weasley. "Oh Draco, it's so nice to see you again. Thanks again from bringing Hermione back to us. I just can't believe she would ever do such a thing. You don't think You-Know-Who has anything to do with this do you?" I shook my head. I knew he wanted Hermione, but he wouldn't make her kill someone to get her. It wasn't logical. But then again he does have his weird ways. "Well alright. The girls are upstairs eating. I just took their dinners up. Are you hungry? Or thirsty?"

Once again I shook my head. "Thank you though. I just ate at the Great Hall. If I find out anything of this dealing with the Dark Lord, I will let you know. Just keep Hermione safe until we know what exactly happened." I was slightly more concerned about Hermione thinking that Voldemort would do that to her. He had the capability. It seemed a bit harsh though. Then again, it was Voldemort.

I ran up the steps to Ginny's room and opened the door. Both girls were giggling, and reading muggle magazines. I rolled my eyes and put their homework on Ginny's desk. "So ladies, how are we tonight?" Both jumped, clearly startled.

Ginny smiled. "I'm just lovely Draco, but I think I'm going to go write to Dean now, let him know that I'm still alive. Don't do anything I wouldn't!" With a wink she was gone with the two trays of eaten food.

Hermione tried to sit up, but I stopped her. "No sitting up yet. I don't want you straining yourself." I said sincerely.

"Draco, I'm fine. I swear... fiiiine I'll stay down." once again, my stirn face wins. "So how long are you staying?"

I sighed. "Only for twenty minutes...which now is fifteen. Which gives you just enough time to explain why you killed him." She winced.

For the next ten minutes she described exactly what happened, needing to pause once in awhile to keep herself from crying. "I'm sorry..." she said after finishing where I came in.

"It's not your fault. You just reacted in the only way you knew how. But, I'm partly to blame as well. See, I didn't know at the time... But I do know Jeriko. Hermione... he's a Death Eater. His family has been friends with mine for years. We used to spend hours and hours together when we were children. He's grown up horribly though. I should have warned you. I saw him the night before you killed him. He showed up in my room. Told me to not get too attatched to you. That your his property and his alone. I didn't understand what he meant. But I suppose the Dark Lord set him to get you... After all he's... Well nevermind. I need to go Hermione. Do you want me to stop by tomorrow to talk again?"

"Of course! But I want to hear more about Jeriko and Voldemort when you come tomorrow, so try to buy more time ok?" I nodded and kissed her forehead before running down the stairs. I knew I wouldn't be able to tell her more than I already had. It was too much already. Hopefully my suprise for her will side track her for the night.

As I waved goodbye to Ginny, I grabbed some floo powder and stepped into the great fireplace. "Dumbledore's office!"

**AN: Well, with how many reviews and hits I've gotten on the last chapter I couldn't resist giving you guys another chapter! I might have another one tomorrow morning before I leave to the hospital but no promises! Thank you guys for your great support! This chapters for all the reviewers and dedicated readers **


	15. Forgiveness

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 14: Forgiveness**

**Disclaimer: Honestly, why do we need these? We all know that none of us own it! **

The next day of school was dreadfully long. I had my suprise completely ready for Hermione. I knew that she would love it, but I was still worried about it. Finally when dinner arrived, I was so nervous that I couldn't eat. So I grabbed my bag which had Ginny and Hermione's homework plus Hermione's suprise. I went to leave the table but Blaise stopped me. He hadn't spoken to me since before the Halloween Ball. Neither had Pansy or Crabbe and Goyle. They all seemed to think I had betrayed them and the pureblood race.

"Hey mate..." I glare at him. "Look I'm sorry. So are the others, but they're not ready to admit it yet. Just... give us time to get used to all of this okay? I mean its not everyday that the one guy we all look up to decides to go for the girl we all think of as lower than dirt. How is she by the way?" he sounded sincere. Of course Blaise had always been the most level headed Slytherin.

"Well, how about I tell you on the way to Dumbledore's office? I'm sure you can come with me to see her. I need your opinion on something anyways." Blaise smiled and nodded. We both headed off to the Headmasters office as I told Blaise what all had happened.

When we got to the statues I had finished my story finally. "Wow... who knew that innocent goodie goodie Hermione Granger could kill someone? I mean come on. We've called her mudblood pleanty of times in situations pretty close to that, other than the part with her dad... and she never killed us." He looked almost as if he didn't believe me. "I mean come on Draco, we've known Jeriko our whole lives. He couldn't have done anything that bad to her. It would have to be something like we would do."

I ran my hand through my hair restlessly before hitting the wall. "You don't understand it Blaise. He knew Hermione was with me. He knew he had no shot in hell with her. Yet he continued to get with her until she snapped!" I yelled at him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm myself down. "She was so scared. There was nothing else that she could do to keep him away. We both know that he would have easily countercursed anything else she would have sent at him. Hermione's smart you know. When he called her mudblood, she probably figured it out. There's no way it could be a coinsidence. He would have had to understand that it would have an effect on her. And it did, but she realized that he was a wizard and there was obviously something wrong. The Dark Lords after her mate, and I think shes figuring it out on her own. I just want her safe." I said sadly. It was true, I knew that she was in complete danger now and there was no way she couldn't notice.

"Don't worry, we will keep her safe mate. I don't know how, but we will. Right now I think we should just go to the Weasel's house and drop off this stuff." I looked down to see the bag and realized I hadn't shown or told Blaise about the gift. So quickly I showed and explained it to him. "Bloody hell Draco! Are you sure about this? Only people who are really really serious about their relationships do this!"

I nodded. "I know it's right. But will she like it?" I asked nervously.

He laughed. "If she doesn't then she's crazy. Any girl would give up everything to get that from you!"

"Hermione's not just any girl though, she's the girl."

"You're really serious aren't you? You've fallen hard for the mudblood!" he exclaimed jokingly.

A smile crept on my face. "Yeah... But don't call her that. Even if it is jokingly. Lets go. I can't put this off much longer or my head might explode. All day I've been going over different reactions in my head. Most haven't been too pretty mind you." With that we walked inside the office and floo'd to the Burrow.

♥_HERMIONE'S POV♥_

It was around dinner time, but Draco was later than he was yesterday. I hadn't really noticed the time except for now. All day I have been pondering the possiblities of what the suprise could be. "Like I said before Hermione, it's probably an engagement ring." For probably the twentith time today I rolled my eyes at her.

"Ginny, we aren't that serious. Honestly, I think it will probably be a book or something. I don't know! I already have a necklace so it can't be that. He know's that a braclet would just get broken with how many books and such that I carry. And rings...well thats just a bit far isn't it?" I asked. I had been going over reasons to give me things and not to give me things all day. Everything seemed to have a downside except for a book.

She grabbed my shoulders lightly and stared me directly in the eye. "A book? Are you bloody kidding me? This is Malfoy were talking about 'Mione! He's the number one woman charmer in the world! A BOOK!?!?! No. Just no. And even if its not for engagement, there could still be a ring. Think about it, theres promise rings, friendship rings-oh no that would be bad...He did seem happy about it right? Right. Well theres also rings that bind people together internally of course, many people get those mixed up with promise rings. Honestly, how can they be so stupid?" Ginny had taken to pacing around her room and flipping through a book with jewlrey on the cover.

"Gin, why do you have that book?" I was slightly suprised that she would have a book for pleasure reading.

She looked up for a second as if taking in the question. "Hmm? Oh, mum gave it to me. It was hers. She said it came in handy quite a bit. It gives you advice on which type of which piece of jewlery is suited for certian occasions, for certain people, and for different meanings in gifts. I've read it at least a hundred times, but each time I always seem to find something new. It's as if it updates the book on its own." she said as she flipped a few pages.

"Uh, so how is this going to help us now?" I asked completely confused.

Ginny stopped in her tracks and closed the book. "Well if I know what I'm looking for, then if he presents you with a ring, I will be able to tell what type it is and if hes lying. No I know you trust him, but this is tricky stuff Hermione! I don't want him tricking you into something and having you regret it later on."

Not a minute later, two boys were climbing into Ginny's room. This took me for suprise as the other boy was none other than Blaise Zambini. He seemed so upset about us dating, so why was he here now? Not only that, Draco was holding a bag. Last night he had brought their homework by hand. Was his suprise that large? Did he need Zambini with him to give it to me?

"Hey Mione." He said sweetly before kissing her forehead. "I'm glad to see your able to sit up now." It was true, I had taken the chance quickly to sit up for the day. Laying down all day just wasn't my type of thing to do.

"So what brings you Blaise?" I ask with as much control in my voice that I could muster.

He sighed and leaned against Ginny's doorframe. "Well Gr-Hermione, my friend wished for me to come. After I apologized about being a complete arse about you guys. I should have taken into consideration that Malfoy knows what he's doing and wouldn't make a stupid mistake." I nodded in acceptance.

Ginny spoke up next "Draco whats her gift!" She squealed more excited and impatient then I felt.

Draco laughed and pulled out a velvet box about the size of a book. I looked at Ginny knowingly and she simply threw her hands in the air in defeat. But as he got down on one knee and started to open the box I realized it couldn't be a book. Seemed Ginny thought so as well when she jumped up and clapped her hands.

When he opened the box I nearly fainted. Inside were three peices of jewlery. A necklace much like the one I already have only somehow more beautiful. A braclet that matched the necklace perfectly. The ring was swirled with red and green diamonds with a clear diamond in the center. But what did it mean?

"So do you?" He asked, clearly thinking I knew what all of this meant.

I gave Ginny a pleading look to explain. "Say you do!! Jeez crazy woman! If Dean were to tell me he would always love me and be there for me no matter what I would be thrilled!" She was almost to excited for words.

Knowing that Ginny wouldn't tell me to say yes if it were a bad thing I nodded my head and he smiled. "This is wonderful!" He put the necklace on me and took off the last one, then he put on the braclet and ring. "Now, I have one of each too. Of course mine are more manly. But all you need to do is hold one of them and think something. The article of jewlery you chose will turn mine ice cold or blazing hot. Cold if its just a simple thought, and hot if you seriously need me. When I touch the corresponding peice it will give me your thought. This way we can keep in contact when were not together. Like on breaks and such."

He really did love me... "I love it Draco." I said before kissing him deeply.

"I'm glad, but we have to be going now." with a last kiss on my forhead and a nod from Blaise the two left. Ginny and I fawned over the jewlery all night.

**AN: One last chapter for you guys! I couldn't help it. The reviews inspire me too much. The next chapter will be mainly fillers since everything is happening so fast. It will also explain a lot of things I've thought that might have had you guys going "Uhm is it like this?" So anyways, enjoy. And I'd love to come home to alot of reviews **


	16. Filling In The Blanks

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 15: Filling In The Blanks**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it.**

**AN: So today, I have decided to put the authors not first. Why? Because this chapter might be confusing. But I had figured out that I completely forgot what had happened in my past chapters. So I went back and re-read them. I hate doing this because I don't like reading what I write, which is normally why there happens to be typos. Because I refuse to read it over and make sure its ok. With re-reading them I realized I messed up ALOT. But this chapter will fix it.**

**As for the jewlery to those whom are confused, no they are not getting married. Well at least those peices of jewlery aren't meant for that. They're almost like promise rings, only much more powerful and meaningful. With them, it's saying that they both know they won't move on even if they do break up or one dies. Plus it has those dandy communication devices in them, always handy. **

**Basically this chapter will be Hermione and Ginny gossiping all night. Why? Because I need to know if you guys want George and Hermione to have a conversation. I can't let Hermione leave until I know. Also, do you want to see more of the other relationships? Such as Ginny and Dean, Ron and his girlfriend, etc? So review with your input so that I know what you guys want. Also if you have any suggestions for the story, or if someone wants to offer to be my beta since I can't stand reading over my work, let me know alright? Mucho Thanks!**

The two boys had left about ten minutes ago, and Ginny and I had been fawning over the beautiful jewlery since. "Oh Hermione! You're so lucky! Not many guys do this for their girlfriends. It's said to be the deepest and most honest way of saying he loves you. I wish Har-Dean would do it. It's so romantic!" She seemed to speed up after almost saying Harry's name.

I looked up from my ring and up at Ginny. "Hey can I ask you something?"

"No Hermione Granger, I will not marry you." she laughed heartily as I smiled. "Of course you can silly."

I bit my lip wondering if I should really ask. Neither had explained, but I sorta figured I knew. Still, it would be nice to know the full story. "Well...uhm...why exactly did you and Harry break up?"

Ginny laid back on her bed and covered her face with her hands as if she was trying to remember everything. "Sorry I shouldn't have asked." I said quickly, not wanting her to be uncomfortable. But she got up and shook her head.

"It's fine. You're bound to find out one day. It'll be better to get it over with now, while I still remember all the facts." I nodded as she took a deep breath, preparing herself for the long explaination. "It was about a week after you told us about Jeriko and Draco...We didn't want to tell you about it because we knew you were going through more than enough to ahve to deal with us. So Harry told you that we both decided to be friends because we were more like siblings. Which, was a total lie. What really happened was Harry had a meeting with Dumbledore, as you very well know. I guess that their tasks are supposed to get more dangerous throughout the year. So Dumbledore told Harry that he had better make sure that his belongings were all prepaired to be given to the proper people and that he wouldn't leave anything unattended to." She sighed and looked down sadly.

I patted her back. "You don't have to go on if you don't want to." I said reassuringly.

She just shook her head. "You of all people deserve to know. Well...Harry thought he meant we should break up. And he agreed with it. He didn't want to leave me behind and feel guilty for moving on later in life. So he said we couldn't go on anymore. But if the war ends and he's ok we can try again. I fought with him for days telling him it was stupid and that he would be ok. That we shouldn't have to worry about a war tearing us apart. But he wouldn't have it. Finally I gave up. I was a wreck. Thankfully, I had caught the flu so no one had to see me cry. When I got back, Dean was the only one in the common room. I started crying again and he stayed with me till I calmed down. After that he was the only person I would talk to. Then about a week later we started dating. And that's it. Harry was quite mad when he found out, and I don't think he's quite over it yet, but oh well. I need someone who will be there with me no matter what. Someone who has faith in himself and the relationship." Now she had a tint of anger in her voice. TO be quite honest, I didn't blame her at all.

"I'm sorry Ginny. He really shouldn't have been so stupid." Was all I could say as I hugged her. I couldn't even imagine Draco telling me we couldn't be together because of the war. I would probably go insane. "But...do you really love Dean?" I pulled back and she looked me in the eye.

Looking away, she sighed. "Sometimes I think so...But then a memory or feeling Harry gave me will come back, and I start to question everything. Then somehow, Dean makes it go away. He always seems to be able to make everything better." she smiled at this. "It's just that...Harry was my first love you know? They never seem to go away, no matter how hard you push them out."

I looked away. "Yeah, I understand." I said sadly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Hermione! I totally forgot. But...that reminds me...What happened when the Minister came?"

Flash Back

A knock came on the door an hour after breakfast. Ginny got up and opened it to let the Minister of Magic in. "Ah, Miss Weasley, may I speak with Miss Granger alone?" Ginny nodded and gave me a look of sympathy as she slipped out of her room quickly.

"Well Miss Granger, it has come to my attention that you have used the killing curse upon another wizard whom was unarmed." I shut my eyes as if I were trying to pretend the Minister wasn't there. "Is this true Miss Granger?" I nodded sadly and opened my eyes again. "Why, might I ask, would such an examplitory student such as yourself commit such a crime?" He asked harshly.

I started to sob into my hands. I hadn't ever been in serious trouble, and now I was in the most trouble any teen could get into. "I didn't know what else to do...I was so scared. I...I...th-thought he w-was going t-t-to rape me..." I whimpered as my body shook furiously as I cried.

He simply stood there until I calmed down enough to talk properly. "Am I going to Azkaban?" I asked my voice having no tone in it.

Sighing, the Minister sat on the edge of the bed. "Well Miss Granger, you should be. But the fact is, you helped us when you killed that young wizard. As it turns out, he belongs to a family whom all have been proved to be faithful to the Dark Lord. Therefore, no Miss Granger, you are in no trouble. But next time, before killing someone make sure they are a Death Eater. Otherwise simply petrify them until someone can be there to help you. Is that understood?" I nodded and with a bow of his hat he disapparated.

End Flashback

After I finished explaining it to Ginny she hugged me. "So really it was a good thing you killed him! Are they going to give you like a special award or anything?" she asked excitedly.

"Not that I know of. But honestly, how much luckier could I have gotten? If he weren't a wizard or working for Voldemort I could have been sent to jail. Not to mention I wouldn't be Head Girl anymore! Nor would I be able to take the N.E.W.T.s!" I said worridly.

Ginny rolled her eyes and muttered something about typical Hermione. We sat in silence just flipping through magazines for a few minutes.

"OH!! I almost forgot to tell you! Luna's been owling me with the latest gossip. Apparently, Pansy has taken to Ronald. No ones quite sure why, but he seems quite content with it. But Pansy only likes guys whom are good shaggers which means...Well I don't even want to go there. That's just way too gross, but still! Is that not crazy!?!" Both of us went into a fit of laughter before Mrs. Weasley came up and told us we should be off to bed soon.

"I can not picture those two together in a million years." I said staring blankly at the wall. The thought made no sense. Pansy was such a high classed girl whom only wanted rich, handsome and pureblood boys. Sure Ron was pureblood, but he wasn't as handsome as some of Pansy's previous boyfriends, and as for the rich part well do I really need to go there?

"Well I need to get to bed, before mum comes up again. You know how she is when she has to warn us more than once to go to bed." She yawned before saying a quick goodnight and heading to Percy's old room. She had decided that her room would be better for me to stay in while recovering. I still couldn't stand up which was quite fusterating, but I was dealing with it. Tomorrow I would be able to stand up on my own, and the next day I would be able to walk freely. I couldn't wait to feel back to normal again.

**Another AN! So yeah, this chapter isn't exactly my favorite. But its here none-the less. It sorta explains why she didn't get into trouble and stuff. So yeah. Also, my surgery went better than expected. I was actually home last night, but I was too sleepy to update. But I must say thank you guys for the reviews! I got six alone for the last chapter, which is the most for one chapter alone. I'm also up to nearly 6000 hits. I must say this is truly amazing, never expected this story to get this far or be this popular. So thank you again 3**


	17. Coming Clean

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 16: Coming Clean**

**Dislcaimer- I don't own anything.**

I woke up happily to the surroundings of my dorm room. It had been so long since I actually slept in my own bed. To be quite honest, I felt about fifty times better. Ginny's bed was quite comfortable, but it had nothing on this feather-soft bed.

Yawning, I stretch and get up to get dressed. I would finally be going back to classes today. Unlike most students, I couldn't wait. Sure I can learn anything from books, but it's so much better to see how the teacher will teach it. Usually they have tid-bits of information no one else does.

Ater dressing I straighten my hair with a spell that I hadn't used in a few weeks. There normally was no need since I didn't see anyone out of the normal to impress. But it's my first day back and I want to look somewhat decent. Quietly, I walked down the stair case and went out the door leading to the corridor. Soon enough, I was in the Great Hall smiling to all the quiet, tired mumblings coming from all four of the tables. I quickly found a seat next to Ginny whom looked slightly alarmed. "Do you not know?" she whispered.

In my bustling happiness I hadn't gotten a chance to actually look around the room. Everyone was gawking at me, a few hid behind books and newspapers. They were terrified of me. "What's going on with them?" I whispered quite angrily.

Ginny sighed before standing up and reaching for my arm. I stood up and followed her into an empty corridor. "Hermione, they think you were under a curse when you killed him. Everyone's scared that who ever cursed you will do it again." she looked at the floor sadly.

"But I wasn't being controlled!" I said losing my temper very quickly.

Her head snapped back up to look me in the eye. "I know that ok? But all the teachers thought it would be best if the students thought you were forced to do it. And personally I agree. Otherwise no one would look at you the same anymore." I felt tears running down my face.

"Yeah? Well they aren't exactly treating me perfectly normal now are they?" I attempted to wipe the tears but it just made me even worse. Slowly I slid down the cold wall and sat on the ground in the fetal position. Suddenly I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me.

I began to weep the hardest I had yet. My whole body shook feriously as the arms held me. I just want to die. Seeing all of those eyes on me. It was almost as if they were calling me mudblood and staying away as if when I would touch them their blood would be completely tainted. Even the people whom had grown to admire me and ask me to tutor them had suddenly shunned me. "Hey hey. Calm down. Everything will be fine I promise. I just spoke to Dumbledore and he says that he will announce tonight that they caught the person who cursed you and snapped their wand in half. Everything will be back to normal tomorrow. Lets just go to class ok?" It finally came to me who was holding me. I hadn't seen Draco since the night before and had completely forgotten about him with everything else going on. Slowly I nodded and he helped me up.

The res of the day was a complete blurr to me. I just remember Draco gripping my hand tightly to let me know I was still living and not dreaming this horrible nightmare. All through the classes the students would shift uncomfortably around me. I didn't eat lunch nor dinner. I felt as though I would throw up if I attempted to.

I had ran straight to my dorm room after the last class finished and engulfed myself in my piles of homework. Soon enough I had all of my homework, plus some of the weeks lessons compeltely done. I pulled out Hogwarts: A History and read until I had fallen into a deep sleep.

The next day, I got up and went to the Great Hall for breakfast. Everyone was acting completely normal again so I assumed I had just dreamt the day before. Thats when it happened. The questioning. "Hermione what was it like being controlled by them?!?!" a forth year that I had been tutoring asked.

I snorted. "I wasn't being controlled Sally, I killed him on my own will. I don't know where your getting the whole being controlled thing from. I think you need to slow down on the Pumpkin Pasties." I laughed and went back to eating. But she wasn't the only one who asked me. Suddenly I snapped at the entire hall. "I KILLED JERIKO ON MY FUCKING OWN NOT WITH THE HELP OF SOME STUPID DEATH EATER!" I shrieked. The Hall grew deadly silent as I realized what I had just done. I covered my mouth and gasped. Grabbing my bag, I ran as fast as I possibly could. I shut the grand oak doors and ran out side. Soon I heard them open again and looked back to see a head of platinum blond hair running towards me.

"They're all going to hate me now. No one will look at me the same." I said in a monotone voice. I stared out at the lake wishing I could take back what I had said in the Hall. "I shouldn't have done it. Dumbledore didn't want me coming clean about what I had done. It's over for me Draco." One tear fell down my cheek and he wiped it away before leaning in and softly kissing my trembling lips. I was trying not to cry so hard. Once he pulled away, my strength gave out and I started bawling.

Draco held me there for what seemed an eternity before I had calmed down to small sniffles. "Coming clean isn't always such a bad thing. Now you don't have to feel bad about lying." I simply nodded. He then took me to our dorms where we stayed the day forgetting our classes. The teachers would all understand. And if they didn't well who cared? I certainly didn't.

**AN: I know I know, its been forever and a half. I'm sorry. I just had a huge writers block and yeah. I still am having a writers block, so if anyone can think of ideas for the story click the review button and let me know Also, I have a new story that will have more chapters to it. Don't worry I'm not leaving this story. I really want to finish it before July. **


	18. Like You Love You Love Me Anyway

**Chapter 17: Like You Loved Me Anyway**

It had been about three weeks since the coming clean mistake and I had been there for Hermione every time I could. Most of the students were coming to their senses realizing Hermione was simply the good old bookworm we all knew and loved. This made her considerably lighter and she was sleeping more properly again. For the first few nights that she had exploded she slept in my room fearing someone would try to attack her or something.

Her little Weasel and Potty had been avoiding her even though they both knew she didn't do anything other than kill some jackass that didn't know when to give it up. I told him to stay away that night. He knew that I had her where the Dark Lord wanted her and could easily dispose of her making her want to kill herself. Of course, I wouldn't do that to her. Even the thought of what she had done to herself after killing Jeriko made me shudder. It was understandable to be upset about killing someone, but to try to freeze yourself?

I stood up from my comfortable position on my chair that I had put in my room. Slowly, I walked to the window and brushed the velvety green curtains back. Spring was now here and the grounds were extremely green. The squid splashed the water happily at passing students. You could almost cut the tension in the Heads Room. Hermione was completely stressed about everything. With the N.E.W.T.S. coming up she constantly insisted she was far too behind from missing so much school.

Every night we studied like mad. Or at least she did. I mainly just watched her frantically search through stacks of notes and books. I was now so far ahead in my classes now that it made it too tempting to skip more classes then I had already been doing.

Suddenly my attention was snapped to a large owl sweeping through my now opened window and nearly hitting me. I took the letter from it and it swooped back out towards the slowly setting sun. I sighed thinking about how I hadn't seen Hermione all day. Apparently, Ginny wanted a girls day out at Hogsmeade so I stayed behind just lounging around and reading books that Hermione had insisted were need-to-reads.

I looked at the letter to see that it was addressed to Hermione. But to my surprise it was in a guy's handwriting. Either that, or the girl who wrote it has even worse handwriting than me. Deciding that it probably wouldn't be a good choice to read her private mail without permission, I walked to her room and sat the letter on the desk.

I took a look around her room. It was beautiful, yes. But it didn't look like a girl lived here. Not a teenage one anyways. Instead of the typical girls room having clothes, makeup and other girly things strewn around, Hermione had books, notes and other school related things thrown everywhere.

Taking a last look around I decided it was time to see my old Slytherin friends. But since Hermione would be back soon I left her a quick note telling her what I was doing.

♥_Hermione's POV♥_

Ginny and I strolled down the road leading back to Hogwarts since it would be dark soon and I really didn't care for someone attacking me at night. Being out with out Draco at night would be asking for it. We had shopped all day long with barely any breaks. But I had to admit; it was pure fun and exactly what I needed. Though I would never admit it.

It had taken Ginny two hours last night, and an hour of fighting this morning for me to finally give in and come. I basically did it to shut her up and planned on making an excuse to come back halfway through the day. But Ginny had done a brilliant job of making sure I never had a chance to think of an excuse or use one. I had to give the girl credit for her talents.

Today had been the first day in three weeks I hadn't spent most of the day with Draco. Really I had been avoiding everyone else. I tried not to avoid Ginny, but that proved difficult since she ended up replacing me in the Golden Trio recently. Ron and Harry completely despised me and wouldn't listen when I tried to reason with them. They didn't understand that he was indeed a Death Eater. Mainly because he was close to Ron as well as Ginny. But Ginny had come to terms with it, so why exactly couldn't Ron?

"So, 'Mione. What are your plans for the night?" Ginny asked breaking the slightly awkward silence. She was levitating the shopping bags in front of us as there were too many for us to ever carry with our arms.

I pushed a lock of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear. "Well I suspect Draco will be waiting in the common room, so I'll put my stuff away talk to him about the day and then study until I fall asleep. You seriously put me way farther behind then I wanted to be today." I stated plainly.

She laughed. "Good that was my plan. I want you to fail like the rest of the seventh years. Or at least not get one hundred percent. You know I actually looked it up, and the last person to get all O's on the N.E.W.T.S. available was Dumbledore, and he even had some questions wrong. So unless you plan on being the most feared witch in the world or something, tone it down a bit." Softly she poked my side.

"HA! Most feared should be you Miss I-could-hex-you-into-oblivion Weasley." I smirked. Wow me smirking? Draco really was wearing off on me now. "Anyway I'll talk to you tomorrow, thanks for today." I smiled sincerely to the girl for the first time in nearly forever.

She nodded. "It was my pleasure. Thank your boyfriend for funding our little outing as well would ya?" she laughed and started strutting back to her dorm. I walked into the empty common room with my bags in hand. I was struggling to hold them a lot so I was hoping he would run to help carry them, but he never came. I looked around the room confused and dropped the bags before levitating them into my room. I looked at my desk and saw two notes. Reluctantly, I picked up the note that was opened.

_Hermione,_

_I figure you will be back soon but there is something I feel I need to do. I should be back around midnight. As for the other letter, an owl came to my room and gave it to me. No I didn't read it though I must admit it was very tempting. Seeing as it's a males handwriting. Anyway I love you and will see you tomorrow morning._

_Draco._

I smiled at the last sentenced. But then I realized what he was saying and frowned slightly. I wouldn't be able to see him tonight, which meant that the two minutes we spoke this morning were it for the day. I sighed and reached for the second letter. Draco was right, it was a guys handwriting. Viktor's, handwriting.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I know we haven't spoken since last years fight. Which I'm terribly sorry about. I should not have said those things. It was horrible of me and I regret it. I heard about the foolish boy who decided to play with your feelings and push you to the limit (Dumbledore filled me in). I have recently become an active member of the Order so I hope to speak to you more and hopefully see you again. It really has been much too long since we last spent time together. I was hoping that maybe you could visit this Easter break for a day or so. It would be so great to see you again. Reply as soon as possible so I can start making plans for us._

_Love, Viktor._

I quickly grabbed parchment and a quill to reply that I would love to see him. I really had been wanting to patch things up with him to rekindle the friendship. But that was it. Just a friendship and if he pushed for more I would be gone forever. He knew me better than that though thankfully.

The weeks flew by and before I knew it there was only two days before Easter Break. I really had wanted to stay back and study. But instead I finished all of the homework I knew that the teachers would assign before they had. Of course one class that did not successfully work for me. Professor Kay had assigned things we didn't even have in our textbooks. Therefore I was forced to study those things quickly before packing. "Planning on going somewhere my dear Granger?"

I looked up into the silvery-blue eyes of my boyfriend. "Well as it so happens _Malfoy_- I am." I said with fake malice slipping through my voice.

"So Potty and Weasel have forgiven their brains? I must admit Ginny is a great hexer, but she doesn't have the knowledge that you do. How long are you there for?" he asked genuinely interested.

I bit my lower lip, a bit nervous to tell him the truth. I started messing with the necklace he had given me and he looked at me oddly. "Uhm Hermione, why is my necklace feeling blazing hot? Your clearly not in danger."

"Honestly Draco, didn't you do any research on these things?" he shook his head slightly. "They can also sense feelings. If the other is really nervous, scared, angry it will go hot. If they are really happy, excited, or feeling content it will be slightly colder than it should normally be." I said hoping he would get so lost in the thoughts of the necklace to forget his previous question.

He seemed to be deep in thought when his head snapped up and stared deep into m eyes full of worry. "What's wrong then? Are you mad? Scared? If Potter or Weasley do anything to you while your there they will regret it." He came over and hugged me protectively.

I couldn't stand lying to him anymore. "Draco…" my voice was barely a whisper. "I'm not going there…" this statement made him back away from me and look at me with strong confusion. I sighed preparing to be yelled at. "I…well… I'm going to see Viktor for a few days." He looked at me his eyes practically begging for me to scream 'kidding' "I'll be back before breaks over. I decided to leave early since I already have all of my homework handed in for the break. So have a good Easter and I will see you soon enough." Making my bag shrink, I shoved it in my pocket and went over and briefly kissed his cheek.

Before I knew it, I was flooing to Viktor's personal mansion. "Herm-my-ninny! It is so wonderful to finally see you!" the tall, beat up man came rushing towards me and engulfed me in a rib-cracking hug. "How are you?"

Suddenly I felt the necklace burn more than it ever had before. No message came with it so I assumed he was just angry I hadn't stayed long enough to say a proper good-bye. "I'm fine Viktor. Just a bit tired from the flooing. And actually a bit hungry as well." I giggled lightly and Viktor led me to a huge kitchen.

"Usually I have house elvves but I let vem off while you're here. And I pay them a galleon a month. It vas the most they would take." I smiled brightly. He was the one person that actually cared about my thoughts on house elfs rights. And I noted the fact that his accent had gotten considerably better.

After a long day of touring his home, we got to his indoors quidditch pitch. I couldn't help but laugh. Harry and Draco would absolutely love this place. But quickly I noticed that the pitch had a trail of rose petals. Viktor was slowly leading me down this path until we came across a bench what was made out of flowers but it was completely able to sit both of us without falling down.

We talked for a few minutes about what we wanted in life when he got down on one knee. Quickly I started panicking he started fumbling with something when I felt my ring burn _What's wrong? _'Nothing' Was Draco constantly paying attention?

"Herm-my-ninny, I know ve haven't been able to talk lately. But I vas thinking the other night. You mean the world to me. It vould make me very, very happy to spend the rest of my life vith you. Will you marry me?" BAM

"Hell no she won't. Get the fuck away from her Krum. That's right, I told you to get away from _MY _Hermione. You know _MY_ girlfriend?" Draco stormed across the field so fast that I thought he was nearly running. Viktor quickly stood up and smoothed out his clothes. "Get the hell away from her now."

His eyes pierced Viktor's with a glare so harsh that anyone would cower. Viktor stood his place for a moment before brushing past Draco in fury. Clearly he was upset that his big plans had been ruined by one of the most powerful purebloods of our generation. I sighed with relief knowing I wouldn't have to be the one to break the news to him.

I hugged Draco tightly to find that he wasn't hugging back, but standing completely frozen. "You should have known better than to come here Hermione. You aren't stupid, don't even try to act it. You fucking knew he loved you yet you were stupid and came here knowing it would just be leading him on. Now you can either stay here and consider me gone, or come with me and expect to stay away from me while I calm down." I back away from him feeling tears fighting to leave my eyes.

Several times I opened and closed my mouth. I knew he would be mad, but this was completely out of line. He should know better than to think I would leave him for someone who could never care about me as much. "Draco…"

"Don't bother trying to reason with me Hermione, I gave you your options. I'm not changing my mind either. So please hurry up. I'd rather not spend all day in this mansion." He dawled.

I held back the sniffles. "Let's go. But I want to talk about this later. You need to understand something." I said barely in a whisper and ran past him towards the room that I had entered from.

Once we had gotten back to Hogwarts I ran for the Gryffindor common room needing to talk to Ginny. But once I had gotten through the portrait I noticed that the common room was occupied by only Harry and Ron both whom glared at me.

Not wanting the sad emotions that I had finally tamed to come back, I ran past them and up to the girl's dormitories.

Once I got to the 6th years dorms I whipped the door open to find Ginny doing another girls hair for apparently a date with her boyfriend celebrating their sixth month being together.

"Ginny I need to talk to you."

"Not now Hermione can't you see I'm busy?" I looked at her with pleading eyes. "Ok, ok just wait on my bed I'll be done in a second." I nodded and sat in her bed until she sat with me.

"I saw Viktor." I said quietly.

"YAY are you guys dating now? Oh erm…uhm… did I say that outloud?"

**AN: YAY for updating fast! Well faster than normal anyways. I've found that I have way too much free time at school so I've started writing there as well. In fact this whole chapter was written today when my teacher told me to take a break from Algebra two. So if it seems a bit rushed, sorry.**


	19. It Won't Be Easy

Not So Secret Love

**Chapter 18: It Won't Be Easy**

**Warning: This chappy is a bit mature. It entails some cutting and angst. But it's not too bad.**

I looked at my best friend in complete horror. Not only was she hoping I had suddenly fallen out of love with the best thing in my life, she was also hoping I was throwing my life away for someone who wouldn't be able to make me truly happy. "What the hell is wrong with you Ginny?" I want her gone. I want to be gone. I want to run away as far as humanly possible.

She just stares at me. I can see it in her eyes, hate. I thought she was fine with Draco. She knows how much Viktor hurts me by not staying in contact. Does she think being engaged to him will secretly make me feel more loved? If so, shes sorely mistaken. "Well?" I ask her rather impatiently. She can't do this then not have a reason to do so.

"Erm well Hermione. I just... Malfoy... You desreve so much better than his type. A year ago you were shit to him. And now suddenly everythings forgiven? Have you forgotten how he called you Mudblood everyday and you spent hours crying? Did you forget about the counseling your parents made you take? Have you not looked at your arms lately?" She was nearly screaming as she finished the questions. A single fell from her eyes and was trying to hold back my own tears that were forming quickly.

She is right though. I look down at my bare wrists and see several long scars all the way up to my elbow. They were barely noticable now unless you knew to look for them but they were there nonetheless. I had started cutting during the third year here. Half way through the year Ginny noticed and I started seeing a speicalist that came in to talk to me. Normally they wouldn't come to the school but I had gotten to the point that one more cut would cost my life.

After a year of counseling I started becoming sickened by the thought of cutting again. But that didn't stop the tears from falling when he called me a mudblood continuely. So really what had changed him so quickly? Was there a bet that he coudl keep me for a year? Had the war changed him? Was he under and Impurious Curse?

"But why did Viktor ask me to marry him?" I croaked as the tears finally loosely fell down my soft cheeks.

Quietly she shuffled in her bed as she put a silencing charm around the drapes that were now surrounding it. "Well, he had owled me. I told him that I would be thrilled if you two married. I just...I thought that maybe for once you could be happy with someone who never hurt you as badly. I know I know, he never writes. But honestly Hermione, he loves you. He always has. He hasn't forced you to do things you regret has he? He hasn't left dirty scars on your arms. I was just doing my job as your best friend." The last sentence struck a cord in my mind. I looked at her with eyes that could burn anything.

"Some best friend you are. Best friends want whatever makes their friend happy. Not what didn't hurt them more. With pain comes great love. Just because you can't have Harry back and he hurt you, doesn't meant that the man that hurt me cant be with me. Stop being stupid, and talk to me when you've come to your senses. Good bye." I wrung open the drapes and ran to the Heads common room.

Once I arrived I looked around hoping he wouldn't be there. My eyes were still producing tears that I couldn't hodl back. But to no avail he was sitting there and looked up at me with harsh eyes that quickly softened when he saw my face. "How nice of you to come back." he stated. I knew it was supposed to be something for him to yell at me about but I didn't want to deal with it and went to my room without saying another word.

♦_DRACO'S POV_♦

It had been at least two hours since we arrived at Hogwarts and she hadn't been back to the Head's room yet. I was slightly worried that she just stayed with Viktor after all and didn't care for me. It started breaking me inside, something I wasn't allowed to show. I had to be angry with her. She shouldn't have gone to see him. He informed me that he was planning on engaging someone this week, but I had no idea it would be Hermione.

There was a look in her eyes when I came in. It was hurt. Of all things to see at that moment it was hurt. How could she be hurt? Was it because it wasn't me proposing? No, that couldn't be it. It was much to early for us to think about that. I sighed giving in. We would have to talk about it sooner or later. That was jsut a situation that couldn't go without being explained thoroughly.

Suddenly the door burst open and I looked up from the fire to see the face of an angel. Only she was broken. Completely shattered. She looked at me with pain, hatred, I could see her slowly dying within herself. Quickly I force myself to say a rude comment I know that I don't mean. It sounds like my fathers voice coming out. I want to stop it but I can't. It's out and shes running again.

I'm such a screw up. After her door slams shut I hear loud sobbing and the bathroom door opening. The crying immeaditatly stops and my ears tune in for the softest sound. Clink. The sound of something metal dropping to the ground. I hear Hermione whimpering as I get up and walk towards the door. Shes muttering soft 'no's and 'I'm sorry's.

I softly open the door to a sight I wish I had never seen.

**AN: So yep, I told ya, its a bit dark and you guys already know what happened I'm sure. But I still wanna know what you think. The last two chapters have been crappy, 1 review for each? C'mon guys you had 6 for the two before them each. Plus the more reviews I get, the more dedicated I am to the story.**

**Which btw, I want to try to make this story 27 chapters long. Just cuz thats my lucky number And don't worry, the plot with Voldemort and Luna WILL start showing more extremely soon. **


	20. Are We Done?

**Not So Secret Love**

Chapter 19: Are We Done?

**Disclaimer: I only own my ideas**

She laid there, in a puddle of her blood. Her arms sporting large cuts up and down them. I froze. I thought Hermione would be ok. I thought we could pull her through all of this. She's better than this. So why is shy lying infront of me slowly dying? After regestering what was happening I quickly did as many healing spells as I could, so at least stop the bleeding. Why did she have to sink this low? Maybe it's because I'm such a fool and allow myself to hurt her so much.

Quickly I gather her up gently and run her to the hospital wing. "Hold on Hermione. You can't give in yet. I still need to marry you."

♥♥♥Hermione's POV♥♥♥

Am I dead yet? That's all I can ask myself. I want away. I need away. I can't be here anymore. The only one guy thats ever truly given a damn about me is now gone from my life. Draco was clearly putting on an act. I was so stupid to think he could ever really love me. Suddenly I start to sob realizing, I am still alive. I still have to go through all of this crap just to get hurt and hurt. My arms are searing with pain, which only makes matters worse.

Wait...how'd I get here? And where is here? Slowly I open my eyes to see the creamy yellowish blurr that i recognize as the hospital wing. Groaning, I sit up a bit and wait for my eyes to unblurr. The place is completely, and eerily, empty. Everytime I've been here Madam Pomfrey has been scurrying around.

Quickly regretting it, I look down at my red arms. A few of the less painful cuts have scarred over and look years old. The larger ones still faintly red. Just how long HAVE I been here? Surely I couldn't look this much better with a few hours.

Quietly Professor Dumbledore strode into the wing and straight to my bed. Sometimes, it amazes me how well he knows the goings in the school. He smiled at me saddness drowning his fake smile. "Hello Miss Granger."

I open my mouth to speak but words can't form. My voice is failing. "Ah, as I expected. Well being asleep for two months tends to have that effect on people. No worries, no worries. I suspect you will be your chattery self soon." Two months. The words struck my mind hard. How-? "You fell into a coma." He sighed.

I looked down at the blinding white sheets. A coma. I had been so desperate to leave all of this behind and I could only throw myself into a coma. Why wasn't I dead? Draco... He must have saved me. I sighed deeply as a tear trickled down my cheek. I just wanted to be dead. To just get away from this hell. Couldn't he have respected that? "Sir.." My voice creaked as I had forgotten I couldn't quite talk yet.

He looked at me with the twinkle in his eye. "I am sure you are wondering exactly how you are to make up two months of homework?" I nodded slightly, causing me to feel a trobbing throughout my body. Maybe I had been laying in the same position for too long. "Well Miss Granger you have a couple of options. I'm sure you realize that you will have to continue to stay in the hospital wing for quite awhile and have to go through personal counseling which will be held by a specialist from St Mungos. I believe she will be here in a matter of minutes infact. Of course she won't expect you to talk, she'll jsut be explaining certain things." I just stared at him blankly wishing nothing more than to be dead right now.

He cleared his throat bringing me from my thoughts. "As I was saying. You have a few options. One, the least likely route, is for you to go home and have all of your magic drained from you. Option two, you can retake your seventh year completely. Your last option being, to work on everything while in the hospital. I know that two months is quite a lot to catch up on. But from what I hear you are exellent with staying ahead of everything. But we will discuss this further tomorrow. I believe that your counselor is about to arrive and you have quite a bit to think about. Good day Miss Granger." With that he stolled out of the room gracefully nodding his head to a younger woman who smiled back.

She came over to me and sat down where Dumbledore had jsut previously sat. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes tight. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to be told that everything would be ok and that I was made to do greater things. All of that was bull and they couldn't pull it on me. I couldn't handle life anymore and no one else could ever understand how it felt for me. I reopened my eyes to look at her.

From what I could see she looked to be in her early thirtys. She had wavy black hair with peircing blue eyes. For some off reason she was dressed like a normal person with jeans and a nice t-shit. "Can I call you Hermione?" the question startled me, but I nodded. "Hermione, its great to finally meet you. You can call me Erisa. I can't tell you what an honor it is to meet you. I've heard loads about you." She smiled but then it quickly faded. "But not to worry. I know that you've heard enough praise or at least you will. I'm strictly here to learn more about the heroine who we all loved. Or rather the human being behind the heroine." I squeezed my eyes shut again. I'm not a herione. I've never done anything to help anyone else. That's all on Harry.

"Well, enough about you. We have three days a week to worry about you. Today, is the day for you to learn about me. As I said before, my names Erisa. I'm 45 years old. Usually I console younger children whom have been raped or abused. Once I had heard a briefing of what was going on with you, I decided that I wanted to be the one to talk to you." I just looked at her. I wasn't sure whether to be more appauled that I was being talked about and pawned off to whoever was willing to take me in, or that she was so self centered.

She continued to talk for what seemed like hours. Saying she had a boyfriend at my age who she thought was perfect but ended up shattering her by leaving her for someone more high classed. Also she knew how it felt to be shunned because of blood. Apparently half-bloods were equivalent to muggle borns back then. I won't buy it.

Finally when she left, Madame Promfrey gave me a sleeping drought which I took gladly. Maybe when I fall asleep I'll stay asleep. or maybe I wasn't awake to begin with. Yeah...this is all just one big bad dream. When I wake up I'll be an eleven old girl who never gets a letter to go and be a witch. I just want to be normal again... Playing dolls with my neighbor... Never worrying about being below people simply for blood... I'll never have to fall in love with two arrogant jerks... I'll be normal...

**A/N: No I never forgot about you guys. But with the new book, and real life issues... I havent had the time or energy to sit down and write. I know this chapter sucks, but hopefully I'll be able to write more soon Thanks for all the reviews last chapter. You guys are so amazing!**


	21. Please? I love you

Not So Secret Love

Chapter 20: Please? I love you.

♥♥Draco's POV♥♥

Days... Weeks... Two months had passed. But not one minute had I stopped thinking about her. She needed to be ok. I needed her with me. Every day just the thought that she could possibly wake up, kept me going. How could she do it, and more importantly…why? She should have come to me. I thought we were so close. But I suppose I can't always be right.

I sat through class day after day. Every class she was supposed to be with me I found myself blank. It was so hard to sit there hearing other students answer questions. Every time no one could answer a teacher would always make a remark about Hermione.

Students trampled me all the time with absurd questions about the accident. Dumbledore and I had decided it would be best no one else knew. Not even Harry or Ron. Most would assume I had broken up with her and want to murder me for harming the "princess" of the school.

I started talking towards my first class of the day. Which happened to be none other than, double Potions. Sure it had been my easiest class and most likely would lead me to a backup job. Hopefully, I would never have to rely on potion making for a living.

"Malfoy! Draco Malfoy? DRACOOOOOOO!!!!!" an annoying voice echoed down the empty corridor. I turned sighing heavily, not being in the mood for more interaction then need be. "Draco it's about Hermione!" My heart stopped. Thousands of questions pounded through my head faster than I could process all of them.

I turned around to see a boy who looked to be in possibly his fifth or sixth year. He had Gryffindor robes on. I think his name is Colin, but who knows. "Is she ok?" was all I could manage to spit out.

He took a moment to catch his breath before telling me that Professor Dumbledore wished to see me about Hermione's current condition. Without a second thought I dashed up to the floor where the tall Gargoyle statues stood. Silently I cursed myself realizing I had no idea what the current password was.

"You might try Marshmallow Crepe. They are highly delightful even though they are incredibly rare." said the wise headmaster. I nodded and the headmaster walked past me, saying the treats name then swiftly climbing onto the escalating staircase. I followed suit, stepping into his office once it came into view.

"Take a seat. This could take a bit Mister Malfoy." I nodded and sat in the seat he had beckoned me to.

"Please tell me if she's ok first though sir." I begged, tears forming in my eyes. Coming into this office made it seem like she wouldn't be ok. It seemed like he was giving me a long speech before dropping a verbal bomb that would implode and break my heart and make me throw up.

He sighed and walked around his desk before sitting in his large chair. Looking around the room, tapping his fingers together he started, "Miss Granger has most definitely changed in the past year. Everything is simply adding onto of each occurrence. I cannot promise she won't simply commit suicide now that she has awakened." He stopped and looked sternly at me. "Draco, promise to stay here until I have dismissed you." I nodded my head even though my heart was urging me to run to the hospital wing.

"Now, as much as I am pleased to see you and Miss Granger engaging in such a wonderful relationship, I am discouraging you to continue it for the time being. Do not break up with her, but instead take it slower if you will. I heard about your run in with Viktor. If a case like that were to arise again I suggest you not run in and be the hero. Let Hermione make her own life decisions.

"Hermione will have intense therapy for awhile and will not be in classes. I fear that throwing her into that environment at this point in time might throw more stress and once again land us in this position. I know that you of all people do not want to go through this again." I nodded my head once again. All I could think was that I wouldn't be able to see her almost at all anymore. It would be just as bad as breaking up.

Besides that, who was Dumbledore to tell me not to step in if some other man happened to propose to MY girlfriend? I'd like to see him not step in if the love of his life was an inch from being taken by some dumb Quidditch player. Stupid old, man.

"Hermione's state is still critical," Dumbledore continued. "She has to regain a lot of lost blood, and will still probably black out once in awhile if she overworks herself. Other than that the only thing we really need to worry about is she, herself. No matter how limited she is of supplies to hurt herself with, she can always find a way to kill herself. Even if it's to stop breathing. We cannot stop her from doing that. So just be aware that there still is the risk. Hopefully with therapy she will get better. But no one will ever truly know. Possibly not even Hermione… For the brain is a mysterious thing, wouldn't you say Mister Malfoy?" his eyes twinkled with that weird look he always gave everyone.

I cleared my throat. "Indeed sir… Do you think I could see Hermione now?" I asked hopefully. I didn't care what the chances were that she would kill herself or die of blood loss still. I just wanted to see her and hold her. Find out why she would do such a stupid thing to herself. I was almost positive it had something to do with that Krum or even the red headed Weaselette.

He merely nodded and I got up and ran as quickly as I could to the hospital wing. I had been there several times over the past two months. Spending many of the hours there, reading things aloud to the unconscious Hermione.

It was always eerily silent there. Someone had once been brought in for overheating. I always thought that the Divination Tower would probably be overheated. The professor wasn't exactly straight in the head. It had to be caused by something, right?

I headed to the one place I sat everyday for about two hours. Hermione was sitting up doing what looked like homework and I smiled to myself, seeing that some things never changed.

She looked up, obviously startled by hearing footsteps in the silent room. "Hey..." she said sadly.

"Hey there beautiful." I said with a small smile. She only cleared her throat and went back to her homework.

"I thought you might have been Erisa again." Hermione said plainly. "She's my therapist now. I simply can't stand that woman. She's almost as egotistical as you are."

I'm not sure what shocked me more. The fact that she had enough energy to send daggers at me, or the fact that she wasn't joking. Rubbing my temples I sat down next to her bed. "Do you even want me here since I'm so 'egotistical'?"

"Well, if you're going to act like that then, no I don't." not once did she look up from scribbling notes on her parchment. I couldn't move, talk, or even think. This wasn't Hermione. Not my Hermione at least.

She sighed and set her quill down. "I'm sorry. I just… everything is hard to cope with. I hate having to go through counseling… Being under watch all the time, not being able to attend proper classes… being so far behind. It's all adding up and it's hard… It's just hard. Ginny… Krum… All planned… How dare she even call herself my BEST friend? She's nothing but a heartless girl. I hate her Draco…" slowly Hermione brought her hands up to her face and sobbed.

I climbed onto her bed and held her close to me letting her cry herself to sleep. Dumbledore really didn't understand what he was saying. If I separated myself from her she would have no one. No one else would bother to listen to her. Or they would simply tell her to break up with me and go with some other bloke that wouldn't care for her. Not as much as I care about her anyways.

I kissed her forehead and left her to sleep. Soon his plans with the Dark Lord would start. By then Hermione would probably just be getting better. I frowned at the sleeping girl. Wishing that I could somehow stop the plans without killing myself, and eventually her. It wasn't fair to her or me.

Before I knew it, I was back into my dorm room staring blankly at the windowsill. Everything was going to happen so fast… and no matter the outcome. I would most likely. Lose Hermione.

The most logical way to fix this would to be telling Dumbledore what was going on and having him get Pothead to play hero again. But even if that happened… the Dark Lord would know it would be me and would instantly kill me anyways. Lose-lose situation. Then again, Hermione would be safe that way.

So many thoughts… So many decisions… But who could I talk to, to figure out what to do. I ran my hand through my hair tirelessly. Then it hit me… Luna.

**A/N: Jeez! I haven't written in forever. I'm sorry about it. I swear I'm going to have another update up in a day or so. I also want to update my other story and possibly write another song story.**

**Next time: Why does Erisa get on Hermione's nerves so easily? What will Luna and Draco discuss exactly? What are Voldemort's plans for Hermione? Will Hermione even care enough?**


	22. Is It To Be?

**Chapter 21: ****Is It To Be?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

♥♥♥

I was outside the hospital wing pacing back and forth. Today would be the day. The day all the orders would go into plan. As far as Voldemort knew anyways. Little did he know, I had other plans in mind. I took the bottle and rolled it between my fingers. Now or never Draco. Pull it together.

I went over what we had discussed once more in my mind.

♥♥Two week's earlier♥♥

_I ran as fast I could to Ravenclaw dorms, realizing I had no idea how to get inside. _

_"__Black is a color" said a portrait nearby. I looked up at it curiously._

_"Do you lead to the Ravenclaw dormitories?" I asked in a hurry._

_The lady simply cleared her throat to say, "I do not repeat my riddles… ah a Slytherin no wonder."_

_Riddle? How on Earth was 'black is a color' a riddle? I stared at my feet thinking about it when it suddenly came to me. "Black is made of no __color,__ therefore is nothingness."_

_The lady scoffed. "I suppose you Slytherin's aren't all ignorant then. You may enter." She said stiffly as the painting slid elegantly behind a bookcase. I stepped in cautiously to see a corridor that took two paths. Above one __was__ a fireplace and the other a book. I assumed one for a common room and another for a path to the library._

_I took the common room entry and was eased to see Luna was sitting in a large chair in the corner. However, there was a seventh year Ravenclaw who glared before coming up and yelling at me for being inside their common room._

_I simply showed her the Head Boy badge before rushing over to Luna._

_Her glazed over eyes looked up from a book and she smiled. "What a pleasant surprise. I suppose you've heard Hermione's better?" I nodded. "I guess we should go somewhere private. Teresa has a bit of a crush on you. I'm sure most of the __girls__ dorm will know you're here by now and will come to ogle__ you." She looked up at me with a curious look on her face. "To your dorms?" all I could do was shrug and led her down to the Heads Dorms._

_As soon as I entered I glanced at Hermione's room just like I did every time I came in. Sighing, I sat on the green chair and lit a fire with my wand. _

_Luna had taken Hermione's usual chair. "Just a guess, but you don't know how to go about our job right?" Nod._

_"You want Hermione to stay safe right?" Nod._

_"But you also want to stay alive to be with her." Nod._

_"Now you expect me to have the answers for all of your problems." Nod again._

_Merlin's sakes this girl was smart. Or I was too easy to read. Either way I needed her of all people, now more than ever. __Without her…__ Hermione would be dead in three weeks __time,__ and I would be completely alone. Unless you count the baboons that I force myself to call friends every year. No, I needed Hermione. That was final._

_Silence swam through the room as Luna thought through several plans. All I could do was pray._

_Straightening herself, she started to speak. __"One option Draco.__ Take some of it as well, if not all. From how I see it, you take it all you both die. __Very Romeo and Juliet.__ You share it and you both could escape. If you chose that, you will be deciding her destiny as well Draco. _

_She will never again be able to see her friends. Never again be able to read through several books. Live her dream of creating a school for students unable to withstand being at Hogwarts. You will be changing everything. She will lose her best friends as well. _

_So for now I leave this all up to you. Two weeks time Draco. That's all you have to figure this entire thing out. Good day." And with that she skipped out of the portrait hole. Leaving me there to suffocate over the large burden God deemed me with._

♥♥Current♥♥

Everything seemed so far off from then. I spent every moment I could with Hermione. Not knowing what I would be choosing to do in the end. She often sensed I had something on my mind, but after our first fight about it she would only give me a knowing look.

Pace, pace, pace. Tick, tick, tick. I touched the doorknob then let go again. Man up dammit. This should be simple. After this, no more dealing with Voldemort. Just have to slip a potion that's all…

**A/N: ****Haha**** it's a ****shorty**** I know. But I want to extent this into 27 chapters as I had said before. I will be updating again soon. Next couple days I'm hoping. **

**&also.**** I would like to reach ****AT LEAST**** 100 reviews by the time I end this. It might only end up being about 24-25 chapters long. I'm not sure yet. So please ****review ♥**


	23. Hold On For Dear Life

_Chapter 22: Hold On For Dear Life_

**Disclaimer: I own my iPod, that counts for something right?**

**A/N Please read this chapters going to go kind of quickly, and the POVs are going to go back and forth fast**** &**** frequently. Therefore, Draco's POV will be in bold, and Hermione's will be regular. I hope this doesn't confuse anyone.**

♥♥♥

**I walked hurriedly into the hospital wing, swiftly putting the vial in the pocket of my trousers. ****Once I neared Hermione's usual bed, she smiled largely at me. I managed to smile back somehow. I was still clearly in misbelief that I was about to do this to the only person in my life that really cared for me. How would she ever forgive me? Not like it mattered much since I would never see her again.**

**Even with splitting the potion, the chances we would meet again was so unlikely… and it purely killed me inside. This would be the last time I saw her beautiful smile. Felt her soft skin. Smelled her enticing scent. I didn't want to let her go this soon. It was far too soon in our lives… neither of us would be able to settle down and have kids… grow old… But being with her was far more important now than living a life with some whore who didn't love me.**

**I took a seat gently on the edge of her bed and sighed. She only looked at me quizzical as if asking me to let her in and see all my worries. This was my problem even if it was dragging her **

_Hey there, __I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all.__Where you are and how you feel.__With these lights off as these wheels__keep rolling on and on. (And on and on and on...)_

He walked into the room like he did every day. But today seemed different. His normal smile and happy aura were gone. He seemed worried and troubled. Something was up and I wasn't quite sure I was up for knowing what it was yet.

Quietly he sat on my bed and I asked how his day was. Our conversation started out normal and pleasant. After awhile he started fidgeting a bit and looking around as if he was expecting Voldemort to pop out of a bed and scream "SURPRISE".

_Slow things down or speed them up.__Not enough or way too much. (And on and on and on...)__How are you when I'm gone?_

**It was now or never, man it up. This isn't the time to act like a freaking Weasely for God's Sakes Draco.**

**"Hermione…."**

**"Hmn?" she looked up from her potions homework I was helping her with. She looked so innocent. I couldn't take it. Biting my bottom lip to keep the tears from welling up. She was finally getting better. Most days she had her tuffs of not wanting to be near anyone… But she was finally talking ****and smiling. Something I thought I would never see her do again. Now the reality was that I ****wouldn't**** ever be able to see her smile again. It was making me crumble.**

**I swallowed the large lump in my throat. "You know I love you more than anything right?" nodding, she looked at me as if I were going daft. I didn't blame her. None of this was normal behavior for me. "That I would never hurt you unless I had no other way out?"**

**She put the book on the table next to her softly. "Draco, what the hell is wrong with you today?" she snapped. I could only shake my head sadly.**

_And I can't make it on my own.__(And I can't make it on my own.)__Because my heart is in Ohio._

My hands quivered as I looked at him accusingly. "Are… are you breaking up with me?" unwanted tears shed from my eyes. How could he do this now of all times? It was mere weeks before graduation, and I had finally caught up and was prepared for my NEWTS.

_So cut my wrists and black my eyes. __(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)__So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.__Because you kill me._

Strong arms held me tight as I let out a sob I hadn't known I was holding. He pulled back and wiped the tears from my cheeks tenderly. "Of course not. But I have to make decisions now that could potentially ruin us. And I need to know that you'll always know that those two things are one hundred percent true." He stated earnestly.

"What sort of decisions could possibly make you ask such absurd questions Draco?" I asked angrily.

Draco shook his head sadly and got up to pace. I looked at him his tall build, hair falling elegantly against his forehead. He always walked completely poised, and important-like. Something I would always admire about him. Once more he looked at me with a concerned look and went to the cart where Madame Pomfrey had certain potions and pumpkin juice. He grabbed one cup of the pumpkin juice.

"Hermione, I need you to trust me now more than ever." His grey eyes pierced through me and I nodded.

_You know you do, you kill me well.__You like it too, and I can tell.__You never stop until my final breath is gone._

**I sat the cup of pumpkin juice on the table next to her and she went to grab for it. "Not yet Hermione." She nodded and put her hand back in her lap.**

**Please someone have mercy on me. **

_Spare me just three last words.__"I love you" is all she heard.__I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever._

**With a shaking hand, I took out the vile earning a questioning look from Hermione. "Please just trust me, p-please." I choked holding tears back. This was insane. Malfoy's didn't cry. I took a deep-shaky breath a poured only half the contents into the cup. **

**She looked up at me, clearly sensing that this wasn't just a 'feel good' potion. ****Never would she be more right. Our lives depended on this. Would this ruin us or make us live in eternal happiness. We would soon find out.**

I took the pumpkin juice at last. Trying my hardest not to cry. I wasn't sure what was going on. Maybe I would never know… I looked up at him, his eyes red and tears pouring down. Taking a deep breath I swallowed the horrible tasting drink. "I love you Hermione…" was the last I heard before falling… falling into what seemed like nothingness.

_Spare me just three last words.__"I love you" is all she heard.__I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever._

**I fell to the floor weeping into my arms as the empty cup fell from her hand and dropped to the floor, echoing her lifelessness. I stopped myself from crying long enough to look at the vile begging me to down it, just as the hospital wing doors sprang open to show the last person on the earth I would want to see at that moment.**

♥**♥♥**

**A/N: It's not**** that great but here it is! The song in Italics is "Ohio Is For Lovers" By Hawthorne Heights. I know they're not in Ohio but still. Also, I know the crying thing is completely not Malfoy-****ish****. But just bear with me here **

**&also thank you guys for all of your reviews. A few of them have touched me dearly and I'm glad you guys love this story so much ****♥**


	24. Falling Into Oblivion without You

_Chapter 23: Falling Into Oblivion without You_

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. If it were, would I really be writing on a ****fan**** site? oO**

Bellatix Lestrange stood in the doorway with a grimace on her face. What a disappointment it must be to see her cousin weep over a muggle-born. Too bad for her I didn't give a damn how she felt about this. It was because of my father's idiotic move of becoming Voldemort's follower before being his sons' father that I was sitting here like this.

Sometimes it amazed me that she could still call herself my cousin. As far as I was concerned she was just my commander. Informing me exactly how my life was to be lived. Well too bad for her, I was just about to change it all. I was done being her little puppet whenever she felt like paying the mildest bit of attention to me.

Slowly she walked over and spit on Hermione's motionless body. Anger fumed through my veins as I stood tall and proud. She looked at me with a disgusted look on her face. "Draco, clear your head. You didn't love her. She was an object. An object that didn't deserve to even be in the same room as you. She's dead now let's be on our way. Your job is done here. Let's grab that Luna girl and get out of here before I cringe at the sight of more mudbloods."

With a slap to her face I swallowed the last of the vile potion not knowing if it would even work the way I had hoped for. "DRACO YOU IDIOT!" the screech of my cousin was heard from far off in my head as I fell into a silky hole.

I fell into this hole for what seemed like days. Just a deep violet silk curtain, waving around me taking me into the pit of nothingness.

I closed my eyes, remembering Hermione. The way her beauty sent chills down my back at the Halloween Dance. The way she was always so bossy about studying and doing homework the second you could. The way her petite form was always the perfect mould against my taller build. The night Viktor tried to steal her away from me. The far off, deadly clink of the razor hitting the bathroom floor.

Suddenly, my body started picking up speed and I was falling so fast, the wind was causing my eyes to tear up. I shut my eyes and hoped to God this would all end soon.

Luckily, moments later my body thunked against something soft. I groaned at the harshness, of being thrown down and looked around.

It appeared to be a small, cozy cottage. Something Hermione would adore. Maybe she was here. After all, the potion seemed to work for me. Why wouldn't it have worked for her?

I tried to stand up, but fell back immediately. Seeming that I hadn't used them for days, I tried to stand up again a little more cautiously. Slowly, I walked around the cabin. It was equipped with three rooms. The bedroom, bathroom, and living room/kitchen. It would be a great home for Hermione and me.

Of course, to my dismay, Hermione was nowhere to be found. Had the potion not worked properly at her end? Possibly she really was dead. No, I wouldn't allow that. Suddenly I wished I had a book on this potion so I could see the effects of only taking half of the usual dosage.

Swoosh a book flew from the ceiling, which when I looked up was closing, like a portal. I looked down at the mysterious book that looked as though it would crumble to pieces if I touched it.

Carefully, I sat in the seat in front of the book. Slowly I brushed off the dust from the book. "Ancient Death Curses and Potions" I lifted the cover and fingered through the contents. What was the name of the potion…? How could that main factor in all of this, slip my mind so loosely.

Suddenly I heard Hermione's voice… very distantly but there nonetheless. "It's Basilisks Venom Serum. It just has to be… But how do I fix this now?" I looked around startled. Was I going insane? Was she here? I needed her…. Needed to know she was ok. Needing to be able to see her smile, hear her beautiful laugh that could make even Voldemort smile.

Ok so maybe not Voldemort. But it sure made me smile every time I heard it. Thinking back to her voice calling the potion out to me, I ran around frantically seeing she was nowhere to be found in the cabin.

I pulled the smaller oak door to go outside, only to smack my face into a glass door behind it. What kind of sick twisted joke was this? Looking around what the glass would allow me to see of the outdoors, it was a quiet large field with a tree and a large rock under it.

Propped on the rock with a book in their lap, was Hermione. She was a stern quizzical look on her face as she flipped through the pages quickly. Scanning the contents looking for an answer for the same thing I needed to know. – How could we get out of here alive?

Realization hit me hard. It was Hermione. She was alive! Or half alive at least. All that matters was there she was, mere meters away. All I had to do was get her attention; maybe she would know how to break the glass so they could hold each other.

Like a madman, I banged helplessly against the barrier between us. Screaming and shouting her name with pleads. After awhile she lifted her head and looked around until her eyes fell upon the cabin. She saw me and ran as fast as possible to the cabin to the glass door.

Something wasn't right though. I looked Hermione over thoroughly. She looked angry as hell. Her arms crossed with what many students called "The look of detention" written on her face. "How…" she paused as if she were looking for the right words to suit what she had to say. I braced myself for the worse. "How could you do such a selfish thing Malfoy!? Throwing us into this hell! No this is even worse than hell. Do you realize what you've done?"

Thinking for a moment, I shook my head sadly. I hadn't exactly read up on the effects yet. Maybe I should have done that before making a rash decision.

She sighed and threw her hands in the air. "This is our new humble home. Which by the way, we can't break that glass so don't bother. Know why we can't break it? Because our love built it. Yep, the more you care for someone the stronger that glass will be. Normally the potion isn't shared though, so the glass isn't normally there. I landed in the cabin myself, but I came out to see the sights. Well then you came and wham. I can't get back in now. And now you've brought us here for the right reasons, but now they're meaningless.

Unless one of us dies the other can't go back to our lives. There's no other way to go back so don't even bother trying." She looked at her feet tiredly. "I hate it here Draco. I really do… And it's funny because I always pictured a place like this for us to live in. The large field so that you could fly freely at will. The small cottage until we had kids, in which case we could simply add onto it." Her back against the glass, she slid down and held her knees up to her face.

I hit the cabinet nearest me. How could I be so stupid? Everyone was right. I was an idiot. I made the most serious decision in my life without thinking through everything that could possibly go wrong. And this most definitely wasn't going right.

It wasn't fair. Nothing we could possibly do now could make us be together. Why did life have to be so cruel to me? Was this my punishment for having a bastard for a father? Or could it be that this was my fate. To never be able to live fully happy. I could only have one thing. Being with her and not being able to touch her. Or to live a life without her knowing that she had died by my hand. What could I possibly do to fix this hellish nightmare I created myself?

♥♥♥

**A/N: This story is soon coming to an end. I'm thinking two more chapters, plus the epilogue. And if the first half of this seemed confusing, it's because I first wrote it as Lucius was there, and then I realized he's dead so I had to go back and fix it.**

**Stick with me guys were almost done♥**


	25. Let Me Go

Chapter 24: Let Me Go

Disclaimer: I own my ideas. I'm so hardcore. But not hardcore enough to own Harry Potter [.

Days of endless nothingness passed by. At least that's the only thing I can think of to describe this. Some loonies described places like this as what heaven would be like.

In the place you liked being in the most, and getting anything you wished for. We didn't get dirty or smell bad at all if we didn't shower. It was almost as if she showered by sleeping. Which we also didn't need to do.

I only ever felt sleepy if I wanted to sleep, never any other time. At the moment I wanted nothing more than to break the glass. But of course, it wouldn't budge. Regardless to what Hermione had said days ago, and what I had read in one of the hundreds of books I researched through. I had to try. It felt like if I didn't even attempt to be near her it would mean that I had given up.

Every day that waned on left me more restless. With the several hundreds of Hermione's sighs, she was feeling the same too. This place was almost like a confinement for both of us. And she needed her therapist badly. No matter how much she argued that she hated the woman with every fiber of her being, she still needed her. Now more than ever.

I flopped on the comfortable bed and stared up at the ceiling. Why couldn't it simply reopen and suck us both out of here? Was one of our lives being sacrificed enough of a bargain for us to hand in? Hermione seemed to think so.

Not a day went by when she complained that if she just let herself go I could go live my own life. And not a day went by that I told her she was completely irrational and that I refused to give her up.

The situation was weighing heavily on both of us. Before I could even blink, I fell into a deep sleep.

♥♥Hermione's POV ♥♥

I sat on the rock, like I did most days anymore. It wasn't an ordinary rock. It was soft, almost like a bed. Anytime I wanted a nap it would expand to give me enough room to sleep comfortably. This place truly intrigued me, even if I did hate it here.

By the fifth day of being here, I stopped counting the days. It was too difficult realizing how long I was stuck in a block as I liked to call it. I reckon that not even jails are nearly this bad. At least you could have human contact, or dementors.

I sighed and threw the book I had been reading on the pile of several books I had read since being here. Reading was my only escape from everything. Mysteries spiked my interest the most right now. Thinking about who could have committed the crime always kept me busy. And kept me from thinking about how much easier it would be if I killed myself and got this all over with.

It frustrated me on how completely stubborn he was being. My god he was supposed to kill me anyways, I had already tried to kill myself before. Why the hell wouldn't he ever let me die? He spent 6 years hating me, calling me a dirty Mudblood. Wishing ill things upon me. Why couldn't he just let me die in peace now?

Why did now have to be so different. I love him to death… but that's what got us here in the first place. What sort of sick old hag would make us be together, but separated? This would qualify for the worst punishment ever. And yet, maybe that was just it. It _is_ a good punishment because it's hurting us both so much.

"A piece of parchment, a quill, and ink please" I said shakily, deciding once and for all what I was going to do.

There was nothing anyone could do to stop this. Only three options remained for Draco and I. We stop loving each other, one of us dies, or both of us die. And I had already decided which it would be.

I wrote what I needed to and folded the paper elegantly. "Please make sure this gets to the owner when the time is right." The paper shot up into the air and through the purple silkiness that I had felt what seemed like years ago. Hopefully, after everything was complete, he would somehow know this was for the best.

I looked up at Draco's cabin and got up to do what needed to be done.

♥♥Draco's POV♥♥

My dream was so odd. It flashed back to the purple, then to seeing Hermione in the Head's cabin on the train. Purple, yelling at Luna to get out and Hermione being mad as ever at me. Purple, being stuck in the bloody common room all day with her getting lectured on how we were so different. Purple, seeing her cry for reasons I'm not sure I understand still. Purple, her skipping classes at the beginning of the year without telling me. Purple, standing with her crying about Jeriko, then taking two hours to explain the summer. Purple, watching her panic about the ball when it was completely taken care of. Purple, pillows and a near kiss, ruined by homework. Purple, finally kissing the sweet, soft lips. Purple, going to the ball and being punched by Neville. Purple, Christmas break, finding Hermione in a snow covered field almost frozen to death. Purple, helping Hermione through the troubles of killing Jeriko. Purple, giving her the necklace to feel closer to her. Purple, finding her at Viktor's being proposed to. Purple, clanking of the razor blade. Purple, two months of agony not knowing if she was ok. Purple, realization of needing to kill her. Purple, putting us in this hell without knowing what would happen.

Everything flew through my mind. Every moment, every smile, every kiss. One more flash of purple came and then my breath stopped.

A/N: I'm so close to being done now. And I know this chapter doesn't have anything extremely important. Well it does, but to a certain extent. It was meant to be more of a filler of how this 'half life' was like. The next chapter, which will be the final actual chapter for this story, I promise, will be the longest yet.

Will Hermione kill herself or Draco? Or will she decide to stop her love for him by erasing her memory. Will both die? Only way you can find out is to wait for the next chapter.


	26. For Now For Ever

_Chapter 25: For Now, For Always_

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP blah, blah, blah.**

**A/N: ****Here's the last chapter. I will post an epilogue in a day or so. Thank you to all the reviewers, the people whom favorite and added this story to their alerts. I hope you guys aren't disappointed with this chapter. It was probably the hardest and easiest chapter to write. I really didn't want to end this story. And yet, here it is. Enjoy****♥**

"Oh my gosh, he's awake!" gasped a girl's voice. Everything was a haze. Why was someone so shocked I was awake? Of course I would wake up; I was in that god forsaken cabin. "SOMEONE COME QUICK! DRACO'S AWAKE!" the voice yelled. I couldn't open my eyes, my eyelids felt like they weighed a ton.

The girl nudged me and I groaned wishing she would go away.

…..Wait…. someone was touching me? How was that possible? No one else could get in the cabin.

Slowly I opened my eyes to the blinding whiteness of the hospital wing. "Wuzzgoinonn?" I managed to grumble. Hold on a second. Shouldn't I be in my cabin? Why am I not there and where the hell is Hermione.

Suddenly a bundle of red hair appeared. Ginny Weasely. She had tears streaming down her face. "Why would you do such a stupid thing? Why would you do this to her." She rocked back and forth in the chair she had just sat in. "You're such a bastard; I knew you were no good." Ginny kicked my bed's framing and left the wing in a hurry.

I closed my eyes and groaned again. It was all too obvious now. I couldn't even ask if she was ok. I didn't need to. Weeks of research told me that.

Turning my head enough so that I couldn't see the bed next to me I saw Dumbledore walk up to the seat Ginny had previously occupied and sit down. "Mister Malfoy, how long?" he asked trying to sound calm, but anyone in their right mind would hear the tint of sadness it carried.

I closed my eyes tightly remembering the cabin. "I'm not sure, days, weeks, a month? Everything is a huge blur now.

_Step one you say "We need to talk"_

_He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk"_

_He smiles politely back at you_

_You stare politely right on through_

Once I opened my eyes he nodded and looked down. "I presume you know the outcome. With the two smartest most talented of your year being together. You both knew this situation clearly at the end I'm sure." The old man sniffled slightly. "I am disappointed to see that this situation actually occurred. And that Miss Granger went to such extents to save your life. I am sure that once you have passed on you can tell her how grateful you are." He rambled on about how a day there was an hour here, but I couldn't quite catch what he was saying. Everything was a huge blur and there was a loud buzzing in my ear. He was telling me that Hermione was dead wasn't he?

No, no… she wasn't gone. He was lying. It's all a bad dream. My god let it be a fucking dream please. I closed my eyes tightly. Picturing the last time I saw her… spoke to her. We were fighting once again about the outcome of this whole messed up thing. I told her not to fucking do this dammit.

_Some sort of window to your right_

_As he goes left you stay right_

_Between the lines of fear and blame_

_You begin to wonder why you came_

I wanted nothing more to hit a wall… no… I wanted nothing more than to hold her. To have her smile at me and tell me that I was being silly for thinking she would ever do this… that she would ever give her life up for mine… So many people loved her… She had such amazing talents that no one else could ever live up to. And now she was …gone.

Why hadn't she listened to me? She had gone through so much and only became a stronger person whether she would admit it or not. She had gone through things that not even I would be able to handle nearly as well as she did. She was my hero, my shining star. A shining star that was fading out of my life all too quickly.

Taking a deep breath, I looked to the bed next to mine. Hermione lay there lifelessly. Her normally creamy pale skin was now a sickening white. Her eyes were closed and her chest wasn't rising and falling like it should be. Tears of anger and sadness welled into my eyes and I didn't even fight them.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

Several minutes later I was on her bed weeping against her. How could she leave me like this? How could she lay there and not breathe, yet expect me to live. It wasn't fair… I shook as I cried. Grasping her hands, her face, anything just hoping she would open her eyes and say "gotcha!" I couldn't take the reality.

I would give anything, to be back in that cabin with the stupid glass just so that she could live again.

Suddenly a strong hand patted my back softly. "C'mon Draco. 'Mione wouldn't want you to be like this." He said soothingly. Dumbledore seemed to have left when I wasn't paying attention.

"Yeah well I didn't want her dead, she didn't exactly come through with her end did she Potter?" I spat through my sobs.

_Let him know that you know best_

_'Cause after all, you do know best_

_Try to slip past his defense_

_Without granting innocence_

He sighed and sat where Dumbledore had been sitting. "She did what she thought was best. Don't get me wrong… I'm going to miss that girl like hell." He brushes a part of her hair from her face. "I love her more than many know, and no not the same way you do. Hermione's the closest thing I've ever had to a sister… she's always been there for me." He sighed and took in a shaky breath. "If there's one thing I've learned in the past seven years Malfoy, it's to trust her decisions. Mourn all you want. But this is what was for the best. Even if it kills all of us inside. I'll never be mad at you for her death." And with that he left.

I placed one last kiss on her ice cold lips and whispered "I love you" in her ear. Then the medi-witches came to take her to St. Mungo's for a final check over so she could be buried a week from this day.

After Madame Pomfrey told me I could go to my own room I looked back sadly at her now empty bed. She practically had lived in that bed for five months. It took everything I had to not break down and cry again. God when did I become such an emotional wuss.

Hermione's voice rang in my head, "Love does some amazing things to people Draco. Always remember that." I laughed quietly to myself and shook my head. If this wasn't love I would never in my life experience it.

_Lay down a list of what is wrong_

_Things you've told him all along_

_And pray to God he hears you_

_And pray to God he hears you_

Even if it didn't have a happy ending like I wanted it to, it had enough happy moments, and moments of purity. Moments that I knew that everything was right. Being with her was right, no matter how wrong it was. No one and nothing could change how I felt for her. Not after knowing her. After holding her night after night in the common room. Joking about silly things while watching the fire crackle. The small things that made the bad things seem invalid.

With a deep sigh of sorrow, I closed the hospital wings doors behind me and clambered to the Head Dorms. Memories flashed again and I felt extremely overwhelmed. No matter how hard I tried not to, I glanced at her room. The door was opened and the room had been stripped of all of her things.

_And w__here did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

Not wanting to see ghosts of faint memories in the common room, I climbed up into my room. Before I jumped on my bed I noticed something.

A piece of parchment folded up. With a confused gaze, I went to pick it up. I brought it up to my face to smell a distant, but distinct scent. Vanilla Ice Cream. Hermione's favorite body spay. Shaking, I unfolded the letter.

_As he begins to raise his voice_

_You lower yours and grant him one last choice_

_Drive until you lose the road_

_Or break with the ones you've followed_

_**My Dearest Draco,**_

_**If you're reading this now, then everything I planned for worked accordingly. I'm so, so sorry. I really do hope you understand that this was the only way.**_

_**No matter how much you think my life has a larger value than yours, you are wrong. Draco, you are a great wizard. Do not under any circumstances ever forget that. And don't you even dare think about killing yourself. I did this so you could live a life of peace, settle down with someone acceptable. Maybe even someone you will fall in love with.**_

_**Please, don't shelter the word love out of your life just because I am not in it anymore. It is my dying wish for you to live a life that you had wanted with me with someone else. Give them the best life you possibly can. Love them like you would never be able to love again. **_

_**Have children and treat them kindly. Be the father to them that you wish you could have had. Push them on the swings, eat ice cream. Get a dog and play fetch.**_

_**Become a professional Quidditch player, or teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Heck, do both!**_

_**Just live your life to the limits, for me. But do not dwell on me. If you must, you can visit my grave once a year and mourn then. But no more than a day Draco. I do not wish to be the reason you give up on your hopes and dreams. **_

_**Tell Ginny I forgive her for making a silly mistake. I know she only had the best intentions in mind. Make sure that her and Harry never fall apart. They are the couple that saved us in the war if they know it or not. **_

_**Draco, know that I am in a better place now. My life wasn't made to be lived any longer. No matter how much I wish that was a false statement. If it meant that your life could last longer, then it meant mine wasn't supposed to. **_

_**You will do great things, I know you will. Don't let the bad times drown out the good. **_

_**I love you more than you will ever know. I wish things could have ended differently for us. But as all realistic stories say, love never has a happy ending because true love never ends. And Draco, my love for you will never end. So we can't have a happy ending.**_

_**Love always,**_

_**Hermione-Know-It-All Granger**_

_He will do one of two things_

_He will admit to everything_

_Or he'll say he's just not the same_

_And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

A single tear fell onto the letter. She planned it all along and hadn't told me. She couldn't even warn me this was going to happen. Not a fair warning of the heartache I would have to suffer. Feeling more tears fight their way out I laid on my bed clutching the letter hoping maybe it would transform into Hermione.

A few minutes, and several tears later I fell into an uneasy sleep.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

♥♥

A week had past, and I was now standing outside at the field that I had found Hermione at so many months ago. There were about two dozen people gathered around including a few Weasely's, Harry, Luna whom was saved from Bellatrix (whom was now in Azkaban again) at the last moment, and most of the professors.

It had turned out that this was Hermione's favorite place before she came to Hogwarts. It was the place we had all agreed on burying her at. I stood tall in my black suit, trying my hardest to be composed. Ginny and Mrs. Weasely were both sobbing uncontrollably. Harry even was choking back tears. I had to be strong. For Hermione.

Dumbledore said a few words about how great she was, and how much she would be missed. But that none of us would know how much she truly meant except the four people closest to her. Ron, Harry, Luna and I all exchanged knowing glances.

We all loved her in different ways that was certain. But we loved her no matter what. We all knew she would be better off in the end. It was just too much for her to handle here. And I knew deep down that even if she could have come back with me we never would have been accepted in society. We would have to be on the run all of our lives. Being sure not to be killed by death eaters. It was better this way.

I took out the iPod she left me. I always saw her mess with it but I never understood how it worked. I put the errr... 'head-fones' in my ears the way I saw her do it and turned it on.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life?_

I took in a shaky breath and gripped my necklace as she was lowered into the ground and covered.

"I love you Hermione Granger." I whispered as a one single tear fell.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

The necklace warmed and I looked at it curiously. "_I love you too_"

_How to save a life_

_How to save a life_

**The end…**


	27. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**Disclaimer: Y'all know the deal. My names Tabby, not JK Rowling. Therefore, I don't own it!**

I felt a tug on my shirt and groaned. It couldn't be morning already. "Daddy, daddy!!! Get up you sleepy head!" the tugging commenced, and I lifted my head to see a small face smiling up at me. "Daddy, mommy says that breakfast is done if you're hungry! Can we go to the park today pleasssseeeee?" the little girl looked up at me with puppy dog eyes.

I laughed and got up. "Mmmn… what's today Jean?" I grumbled trying to wake up.

The seven year old girl jumped up and down. "Its Thursday today daddy!" she exclaimed in glee. Thursday… I looked up at the calendar. Today was exactly ten years without Hermione. I sighed and looked at my adorable daughter whom was looking glummer every second I didn't answer.

"Sorry Jean, I can't today. I have somewhere I need to go." She held in a whine and bit her lip. "Tomorrow we can go I promise." I picked up the small girl and walked down the long hallway of the Malfoy Manor.

After the war, my mother got her head straight and decided that everything Voldemort had stood for was rubbish. So I moved back here with my wife Annabelle. Then on September 19th seven years ago, we had our first child. Jean Hermione Malfoy. I never told Annabelle the meaning behind the name. But considering her birth date, it only suited too perfectly.

Then after eight years of being married, this winter Annabelle announced she was pregnant once again. Jean was only too excited to hear that she would be a big sister.

Carefully I climbed down the stairs and Jane ran out of my arms to her mother who smiled warmly. I went and kissed her on the cheek before joining her for a breakfast of pancakes and sausages.

Afterwards, we all went upstairs to dress. Annabelle was slipping on her flats when I cleared my throat. But before I could say anything she cut in. "Going to the grave-forest again today?" I nodded. "One day, I'd like to go with you. Whenever you want me to."

"Come today." She looked at me with a shocked expression. Shocked didn't seem to suit her too well. Annabelle was a thin frame, black curly hair, greenish blue eyes, and a very firm face. Seeing her smile was often an odd look on her face. She seemed like a painting that couldn't have an expression. I guess that's what made her so beautiful.

After making sure that my mother would look after Jean, we both headed to what used to be Hermione's field. It was now a gorgeous forest that she had planted the summer before she died. There were small paths that lead in. The main trail was larger, and lead straight to Hermione, Ron, and Dumbledore's graves.

Once we reached the spot Annabelle looked around curiously. I prepared myself to answer tons of questions. "How did these two die?" she asked pointing to Ron and Dumbledore's gravestones.

"Ronald Weasely." I said thoughtfully. "I wasn't here when he died, so I don't know the distinct details, but I believe he died shielding his sister from the killing curse. And I always thought he was useless." I chuckled.

"A Gryffindor huh?" Annabelle said jokingly.

"One of the worst" I nodded. "Dumbledore on the other hand, died of old age. Though I'm sure going on his little trips to find ways to kill Voldemort and what not weakened him quite a bit." Now for Hermione.

Annabelle walked around a little bit and sat on the bench a few feet from the graves. "So this is the girl. Hermione Jean Granger… September 19 1979 – May 3 1996. Best witch of her age, Best friend, Lover, Student. She will never be forgotten by those who matter." She sighed and looked up at me. "Your lover right?" I nodded.

"I meant to tell you… it's just…" Annabelle held up her hand.

She came up to me and held me tight. This wasn't a common act from her. "I understand Draco. And I know that you still love her. I can see it in your eyes every day. I see you grip your chain necklace in shock sometimes." I lowered my head onto her shoulder and started to weep.

I hadn't cried in ten years. Yet here I stood crying on my wife's shoulder about a girl I knew ten years ago. A girl I loved with all of my heart, hell I still loved her. She was the most amazing person I ever met. Not a day went by that I didn't think about her. And Annabelle was right, my necklace did still warm sometimes. I never understood why, but I didn't mind. It made it feel like she still cared. "Why don't you tell me about this girl that our daughters named after?" she said in a joking manner. I nodded and sat with her on the bench clearing my eyes.

Suddenly there was a crinkling of sticks. Someone else was coming. I looked up to see none other than Harry Potter. He laid down a bundle of flowers on Hermione's grave and turned around to see us. "Oh, sorry Malfoy." I shook my head.

"You actually came at a rather good time. This is my wife Annabelle." Harry waved slightly. "She would like to be told the tale of the girl called Hermione, and I can't exactly give her a fair story without you. Mind helping?" I asked kindly. He looked at me for a moment, debating and came to sit next to Annabelle and started telling her of their first year, with me adding small details of how I was young and immature at that time.

My necklace warming my neck the whole time. _"Thank you for everything Hermione."_

**A/N: Kay, it's now 27 parts like I had wanted. This part isn't exactly how I wanted it to go, but it still worked. ****I hope everyone enjoyed my story. And to all those that cried last chapter, I'm really sorry and I hope you will all understand that's the way the story was meant to end ( **

**A huge thank you to every single person that reviewed/read my story. As of now, there are nearly 100 reviews, and over 13,000 hits. Which might not seem like much to better more experienced writers, ****but as this was my first hardcore story, I feel very accomplished. And I never could have done it without all of you guys! **♥

**Also, soon I will be writing a new story called Ten Reasons to Not Use Polyjuice Potion. The basic plot line idea is from one of my most faithful readers Zarroc; she has read all of my stories, so I asked her if she wanted to see anything. So keep an eye out for it ;**


End file.
